Hidden Layers
by GentlyConfused
Summary: If you blinked, and found yourself in ME, how would you react? I know how I would! Read as I peel back the hidden layers of both myself and the people around me. And watch as I fumble about and try not to screw anything up, too! Read, laugh, and enjoy.
1. On the Citadel

**AUTHOR'S NOTE – READ IT OR EAT IT! **

**DON'T THINK I WON'T SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT! **

Hello there, everyone! This is my first ever fan fiction (well, "professional", anyway), and it was inspired by Herr Wozzeck's story, Mass Vexations. I had the idea of doing a self insert myself, but I didn't feel like writing it, never mind actually _posting_ it. But, after reading his story, and seeing a few other self insert stories that others have done, I felt the urge to write my own. Once I was half way through this chapter, I suddenly realized that I wanted to post it – and even _finish_ it, because I was actually having a lot of fun with it.

I may not know very many movie or game references, as I don't really enjoy watching movies, and very few games ever catch my eye, but I'll try to put in as many humorous things in the story as I can, and share my sense of humor with you all. But it won't all just be laughs and giggles, because this story will have it's serious moments as well, as I'm a naturally depressing person, and I tend to slip up – _however_, it's my sense of humor that keeps me sane, so you'll see plenty of it throughout the story, and I'll bet you'll be snickering at some points.

Also, please forgive any mistakes that may be in the story, as I have no beta-reader to correct them for me, and even though I read through each chapter several times, there will still be errors that will slip pass my notice. I'm only human, after all.

Please enjoy,

GentlyConfused.

**PS: I don't own Mass Effect or anything aside from my own soul. **

**So there.**

* * *

Chapter 1 – I'm on the Citadel, so I _must_ be nuts.

* * *

You know, there was once a time in my life when I _dreamed_ of the chance to be in any fandom of my choice. I would skive off my homework, block out Facebook, and turn off my cell phone, and just stare off into space, imagining all sorts of adventures I'd go on. Sometimes, I would be a nameless nurse on the USS Enterprise, or a mysterious mage in Dragon Age, or, more often than not, I'd just be myself while poking around and stalking Severus Snape in Harry Potter – for shits and giggles, of course.

My favorite pastime was imagining the absolute _horror_ that would dawn onto his normally stoic face, as he realized that he had a bloody _fangirl_ that followed him around and giggled at him.

I have gotten many, _many_ strange looks for randomly cracking up at school because of that mental image.

But that was last year, because I decided to be a serious(ish) student this year, because I flunked my senior year in high school last time, so I've stopped daydreaming – mostly. I decided that, hey, I needed to get my ass in gear, or I'll never be able to work at Wal-Mart.

Yes. Wal-Mart. I _want_ that discount card!

So now I actually _do_ my homework, and my assignments, and (gasp!) I even pay attention in _class_, taking notes and asking questions, instead of just vacantly smiling at the air in front on me – like a creepy ass doll.

I haven't done these things since I was nine years old, so you can imagine how shocked my teachers, friends, and family were when I started getting A's and B's, especially when I _cleaned_ – _my_ – _room!_

I have an actual _carpet_ now, instead of rolled up paper balls, discarded homework, dirty clothes, mouse crap, or empty ramen bowls as my floor. The carpet is a gray-ish white color, and it has Mountain Dew stains in it, as well as coffee stains, but I have a freaking _carpet_ now.

It's bizarre. But totally awesome.

So.

I _don't_ want to go on some grand adventure, or even be the Doctor's companion anymore.

I just want to finish high school, save up money for a van (not a _used_ one either! – I have learned from my brother's mistakes. I don't want to spend money on a million repair jobs, just because I was _cheap,_ damn it! Because I _am_ cheap and I don't want to waste my money!), and apply for a job at Wal-Mart, hopefully in fabrics. Maybe even publish a book in a few years, and be a respected author.

That was my plan. It's vague, but it was going _somewhere_, damn it.

But now, as I stand here in the middle of the Citadel, stumbling into an alleyway, stunned and bewildered, I know – I fucking _know_ – that those plans have just been screwed over.

And I want my money back!

...or a hug. A hug would be nice.

_Somehow, _I think drily, discreetly peeking my head out,_ I don't think that krogan over there is going to give me a hug. Perhaps kick my head in, like a human soccer ball, but no hug._

I frowned, and leaned back into the shadows.

_Damn, and I really wanted that hug, too..._

* * *

Now, I'm sure you're wondering how the _bleeding hell_ I ended up on the Citadel, right?

Honestly?

I have no fucking clue.

One minute, I was innocently leaving my house, heading over to the bus stop, and then I blinked. Just blinked. And then I was gaping idiotically in the middle of a crowd, surrounded by aliens. I don't know _what_ the fuck happened, if I just blinked at the _wrong_ moment, and someone up there got seriously offended and decided to mess with me, but whatever it was, it's freaky as hell.

Gah.

Please excuse me while I try to keep my brain from imploding in shock.

_Thank you. _

* * *

Okay.

I'm an eighteen year old human girl, who has no credits on her, no birth records, no history, no home, no friends _or_ allies, _or_ a family, and all I have on me are my three school bags of stuff (my backpack has my important stuff, like money, MP3 player, laptop, and first aid kit. My travel bag on wheels contains my school books, art supplies, and lunch. And lastly, my messenger bag has my books, CD case, my notebooks and binder, and my cellphone; along with my makeup and other feminine and good-hygiene products – all together I estimate that they weigh about 60 – 90 pounds, if not _more_. Yes, I am insane, but at least people _back_ _off_ when they see me, and don't talk to me. Unless they're asses) and a cup of hot coco.

The coco was quickly drained, and the red plastic cup was thrown away.

It was for a good cause. Its sacrifice won't be forgotten – oh, who am I kidding? It's just _coco_.

...granted, that was probably my last cup of hot coco for the foreseeable future.

Fuck.

Once the warmth of the coco settled my nerves, I wandered out of the alleyway, looking about myself absently, and ignoring the people around me.

I can people-watch later. First, I need to figure out _where_ on the Citadel I am, and then locate a bench (because I vaguely remember there being some in the game), and _then_ I can goggle – subtly! – at the alien life around me.

However, after about ten seconds of aimless walking, I quickly realized that I was on the Presidium, because, _hello_, there are trees and there's the _water_. It's like being in a very pretty park that you weren't allowed to go camping in, which sucks, because then I could've just camped out – Apartments? Hotels? _Pifft!_ Please! Why spend money when I could survive in the wild?

I sighed morosely, and sulked over to a nearby bench.

There went that idea.

Damn it...

Oh, well. No use in dwelling. Best to keep my spirits up and think positively, otherwise I'll get depressed, and perhaps a little twitchy, and then jump into the river –

And I don't know how to swim.

...actually, I wonder if anyone _has_ gone swimming in the river? Didn't Ashley ask that, and made some sarcastic remark about how many people drowned – ...

Huh.

I wonder if she was talking about me right there.

Creepy.

_Tia, shut up before you weird yourself out_, _girl_, I thought, lightly smacking myself.

Okay, I need a plan. Plans are good. They help you make sense of life, and make life less chaotic and confusing.

I. Need. A. Plan.

_Now_.

I stared blankly at the air in front of me, thinking furiously. My face automatically relaxed into a faint smile, because of all the years I've forced myself to smile and seem happy, because I've noticed that people left you alone if you seemed happy and cheerful – I've been called 'that girl who skips through the halls with a smile on her face', which confused me, because I don't even know _how_ to skip (I can _trip_, but that doesn't really count), but I left the crazy lady alone about it. And, sadly, even after a couple of years, my face _still_ relaxes into a smile.

Pisses me the hell off, but, well, at least it helps with my facade as an innocent girl.

...at least, until I open my mouth. Or hiss.

Hissing is a very good scare tactic when you want someone to leave you alone, because no one wants to mess with the crazy chick.

Plus, hissing never fails to entertain friends and family.

Yay.

Hm, lets see...I need money and an apartment. Need a job, too. Where can I work? I have no real skills. I can draw and write, but that wouldn't work out at C-Sec. Hell, I probably couldn't apply anywhere, since I don't have a background here. It's going to be mighty suspicious to the higher ups when they realize that some human girl just popped up out of nowhere on the Citadel. Damn it! This is getting me nowhere! Just...um...shit. Try working at a bar? I mean, come one, what kind of requirements would I need to work at Chora's Den?

Aside from pole-dancing, but I doubt that anyone wants to see a chubby girl in glasses dance around. Or, well, fall off the platform, anyway.

Okay. That takes care of my job problem.

What about an apartment, or, hell, a hotel? I can't afford that. And there was no way in _hell_ that I was selling my stuff – ...well, maybe my school books.

Because I'm bad like that.

...Okay, I'll totally sell my school books for credits.

Cool.

_I wonder if that counts as Renegade points or not?_ I absently wondered, snickering as leaned back in my seat. _Damn. There went my perfect Paragon record. Well, not __**perfect**__, because I had, like, three bars in Renegade._

_Bah. _I scowled, but shook it off.

I causally observed the alien races that were walking about in front of me, looking relaxed and content as I did so – at least, until someone looked at my eyes. I'm pretty sure that they were sharp and calculating. One of my friends once told me that, although my face _looked_ happy, and my body language _appeared_ relaxed, my eyes were a totally different story; they always gave away the fact that I was analyzing and collecting data about the people around me. He, my friend, had said that it was sort of weird, because it gave mixed signals and confused him.

Figures. I confuse people without even _talking_.

I just have epic skills, I suppose.

_Okay; stop. Concentrate. _I berated, mentally slapping myself, annoyed._ Goddamn ADD..._

My eyes zeroed in a couple of salarian men, who were quietly discussing something off to the side, and were using wild hand gestures to get their points across, seemingly excited with whatever it was they were talking – or debating – about. As I observed them, I brought up whatever information I had on their race, easily remembering the main points of their history and physiology, and I meshed my observations and the information I had together. I even included the best ways of engaging combat with them, both lethal and non-lethal.

_Beings are warm-blooded amphibians, making them the frogs of Mass Effect (although, the warm-blooded aspect is interesting). They are highly intelligent, and have an astonishingly high metabolism, giving them the ability to think fast and talk fast – often confusing those that can't keep up. I think there was also something about moving fast, so I deduce that they have good agility. Salarians do not mate for sexual recreation; they only mate for the continuation of their race. They do not lust, nor do they love. They have friendships, though, and thus **are** capable of emotional entanglements – just not "love", apparently. _

_Personally, I think that's bit farfetched, since they **seem** to feel affection for friends, so, logically, it should be possible for those emotions to become deeper and transform into "love", but I may just be saying that since I am human, and thus can't comprehend not loving someone._

I sighed, absently bouncing my foot. I scanned the salarians' bodies, searching for possible weaknesses.

_Salarians have very thin bodies, and that makes them very delicate. Hell, you could probably **sneeze** on them and cause them to blow away – either from shock or disgust (heh). Joking aside, I bet it'd be pretty easy to break their neck, should lethal action be needed. Their wrists would be a good spot too, so that they wouldn't be able use any weapons. For non-lethal action (meaning, not breaking or killing anything), I bet I could just spray my perfume into those huge eyes of theirs, and make a run for it while they deal with that. Perfume isn't as effective as pepper-spray, but the same principal applies._

One of the salarians noticed that I was looking at him, and gave me a briefly puzzled look. I just smiled, and causally waved at him, and then looked away, seemingly distracted by something shiny.

What? Just because I was making defensive/offensive plans against his species, in case of attack, doesn't mean I have anything against him, geez.

Besides, I _like_ salarians. (Me? A Mordin fangirl? _Never!_)

I coughed, smiling a bit.

I shook my head, and watched closely as a turian C-Sec officer walked by. I took in his dark brown skin and his red facial tattoo, and I assumed that the color of his tattoo had something to with passion, or something warrior related. I think the patten itself represents the clan he's from – or colony.

_Okay; Turians. They have a very militaristic background, so I guess this would make them the G.I Joes of Mass Effect, but more impressive. They have an interesting biology, because they have a metal exoskeleton, giving them a natural resistance to radiation – which is weird, because Garrus's shields were going down as fast as the rest of the team's (on Haestrom), so, **theoretically**, his should have gone down slower (but, then again, it was the **shields**, not health points, so maybe that was it) – but this doesn't make them superhuman (heh). They are still effected by energy bolts and such. _

_Turians are built like a predator; sharp feet and talons, appearing to be able to rip off soft, fleshy, skin (**ouch**). Their body frames are slender, with thin hips, but they seem to have subtle strength in that frame, unlike the salarians. But, like the salarians, they are also capable of fast speeds. These guys aren't as easily taken out, but I bet the perfume thing would work on them, if all else fails. For lethal stuff, I'd suggest violently ripping off their mandibles, although, I doubt that would work very well, since they have a metal exoskeleton and everything. Hm. I think their hips or stomachs might be weak points, so that could work._

I yawned, and leaned forwards in my seat, looking bored. I lazily focused my eyes on the pretty asari that was looking at something on her omni-tool, and I briefly admired her, like one would with an atheistically pleasing work of art, before getting down to business. This wasn't the time for ogling at pretty women, damn it.

_Asari are a very cool race, if you ask me (but not like the salarians). They are an all female race, or "mono-gendered", and remind me of the Goddess phases (the Maiden, the Mother, and the Crone) as they grow older, but they have different names for the later two (Matron and Matriarch). They have powerful biotic abilities, and can easily knock a few people around with hardly any effort on their part. They can also bare children of different races – regardless of gender. However, their babies are always 100 percent asari, despite the genes of the "father" – and am I the only one that gets offended by that? Really, my Shepard is not a butch, damn you all!_

I pouted, but shook my thoughts off before I could get distracted by them.

_Kay; weaknesses. Hm...again, the perfume would work on them. Um. Well, aside from the obvious (bullet to the head, knee caps, arms, etc, etc – they're so basic, I didn't even bother with thinking of them before. God, I'm stupid), I can't think of anything elaborate, like with the other two. Damn...hey, wait, I am actually feeling bad about not coming up with ways of killing someone? Fuck, I **am** weird!_

Feeling disgusted with myself, I stood up from the bench and, after a moment's pause, I turned on heel and headed for the nearest Avina, my travel bag rolling behind me like a faithful dog – okay, gah. Bad comparison. I _hate_ dogs.

Anyway; I needed to refresh my memory on the current history of Mass Effect, and find out what the date was, as well as getting a map of the Citadel, so I can know where I'm going.

And, the only (quick and easy) way I can think of doing that would be with Avina's assistance.

Besides, I don't see any more species around here that I could observe – well, aside from a keeper, but. Yeah. I don't think those guys are very hostile, or even worth my time, aside from the usual scientific curiosity, of course.

* * *

"Greetings, and welcome to the Presidium," Avina said pleasantly as I approached her, and I smiled in response. She may have no personality, which makes her incredibility dull, but she was a nice VI, nonetheless. "My name is Avina and I am pleased to be your virtual guide throughout this level of the Citadel space station."

"Hello, Avina. My full name is Tiana Rose Late," I said formally, using one of my aliases, bowing lightly in polite greeting. "May I have the time and date, please? By Earth standards, if that's possible."

"It is 7:15 AM, Earth time, and the date is August 20th," Avina informed me. "Is there anything else you want to know?"

"Uh, _yeah_, um...what _year_ is it?" I asked lowly, making sure that no one but the VI heard me.

"2183," She answered promptly, and I inhaled sharply in surprise.

Oh, _damn_ it. This is the year it all starts, isn't it?

Fuck. Change of plans; my history lessen can wait. I need to prepare myself _right away_, and I need credits for that. I'm not sure if I intend to join Shepard on her mission, but either way, I need to prepare for the up coming events.

"Ah," I blinked rapidly as my brain processed everything, already thinking of things that I'll need. "Thank you, Avina. Can you print out a map for me? I don't have my omni-tool on me." I lied, smiling shakily.

"Certainly!" Avina cheerily beamed, and from the terminal a rather large sheet of paper printed itself out. I caught it before it could fall to the ground, smiling grimly to myself as I looked at it, searching for the Markets. "Is there anything else you require?"

"No, Avina, this is good. Thank you," I said sincerely, bowing once more. "Goodbye."

"Goodbye, and thank you for using Avina. Please enjoy your visit to the Citadel."

I laughed, walking away. "Oh, I will." I mumbled, almost bitterly, but spoke up, "Thanks again, Avina – you're a doll!"

* * *

I quickly stumbled out of the transport/car-thing, looking sick.

Damn it! I _hate_ car sickness! Egh...

I sat down on the floor for a moment, blinking as my stomach settled itself. I waved off concerned bystanders, and, eventually, stood up. I dusted off imaginary dirt, spun around (grimacing as my stomach protested) and confidently walked over to the volus that I remembered, the one that had a booth. I walked down between the stalls, blocking out the noise around me with practiced ease, and focused solely on the little volus.

Luckily, he wasn't speaking with a customer, so I didn't have to lurk around and wait until he wasn't busy.

I smiled charmingly, and leaned against the table of his booth.

"Hello, sir. I was wondering if you would be willing to buy some old, uh, Earth Clan, books, from their educational system that students used to learn from. I think some historians would be interested in them, and they would be willing to pay lots of credits to have their hands on them. They're in good condition," I said in a sing-song voice, smiling.

That caught his interest.

"Really?" I watched as the shutters on his eyes clicked, well, 'blinked', and breathed heavily, amused. It's almost like he's a mini-Darth Vader. He paused, thinking. "Let me see these...books."

Grinning, I bent over to my travel bag, and unzipped it. One by one, I piled up my Art II book, my Biology book, my Physical Science book, my English IV book, my Health and Safety book, and my dreaded Algebra II book up onto the table, stacking them neatly into two piles. I re-zipped my bag, and smugly stood back up, keeping a firm grip on the handle of my travel bag.

I watched patiently as he looked through each one, and, thankfully, they were all new books, and they didn't have rude drawings in them from my more immature peers. I had a sneaking suspicion that would've made their value go down.

Finally, after fifteen minutes of carefully searching the books, the volus nodded, snapping the Physical Science book shut. He calmly put it back in it's stack, and then looked at me.

_Alright, this is it,_ I thought, tensing. _This is where the fun begins..._

"I'll give you six-hundred for them, Earth Clan. A hundred credits for each book."

"No deal," I snapped out instantly, raising my brows. Because, you see, I stopped at a computer terminal and did a search on the extranet before leaving for the Markets. I _know_ how valuable these books are.

I'm not _stupid_.

I smiled, and drummed my fingers on the table. "I should be charging you a _thousand_ for each book, if not more, but I'll be nice; how about three-hundred each?"

"Hundred-fifty," He shot out, and I smirked, leaning in to stare into his glowing eye sockets.

I mean business.

"Two-hundred-_thirty_," I drawled out, leering at him.

"Two-hundred!" He blurted out, and I grinned, pulling away.

_Gotcha!_

"Deal! That's two-hundred each, so you need to give me twelve-thousand credits – up front and _center,_ Irune Clan!" I said, still grinning wildly, and I smacked the table, getting a little carried away with my victory.

_That_, was fun!

And is it just me, or did the little guy actually look _impressed_ with me?

Naw...that has to be my ego talking right there.

* * *

"Okay, I want _this_," I said, pointing at a simple looking pistol. I had absolutely no idea what model it was, but it was cheap, so it'll work...as long as it didn't break on me.

"That," I said next, this time I pointing at a box of basic hand grenades. I smiled, and then pointed at an omni-tool. "And this, too, please."

Then I smiled gleefully, spotting the one thing I wanted the _most_; shield barriers. "And I want that!"

The salarian gave me a mildly amused look. "Anything else you want?"

"Nope!" I said, practically hopping in place. I was excited. I get some fucking _bombs_, man!

_But still no bazooka, or even a tank._ I thought morosely, inwardly pouting. My daddy refused to buy me either one.

See, while my Dad was the gun fanatic, I'm the one that fangirls over explosives and tanks. Which is strange, because my preferred weapon is a pistol, a tiny hand gun, which is the total opposite of grenades, rocket launchers, bazookas and tanks.

Meh.

"Do you even have a license for this stuff?" He asked, gesturing to my new toys, the ones that can cause some serious harm.

I blinked. License? What?

"What license? What is this _license_, you speak of?" I questioned, looking worried.

_I don't remember anything about a license!_ I mentally hissed.

He looked at me like I was stupid.

"Are you stupid?" He asked, looking at me sceptically. HEY! "You need a license to carry weapons and explosives on the Citadel, or you'll get arrested."

"..." I gaped wordlessly at him. I think my brain just died. "Oh," I said meekly, and I looked longingly at the pistol and the explosives. I gently petted them. "Goodby babies, mama loved you, even if she didn't get to have you."

I was almost tempted to kiss them.

The salarian gave me a deadpanned look.

"Do I need to give you a moment alone?" He asked, drily.

I gave him a dirty look. "Oh, shut up, you bosh'tet!"

Thank you, Tali, love you!

The merchant gave me a surprised look. "You speak Quarian?"

"No, I only know a few words," I said frankly. "Can you ring me up? I want my stuff – just take the gun and grenades off from my list."

He stared a bit, but shrugged and rang me up. "A thousand credits, please."

I almost whimpered at the total, but I reluctantly handed him the needed credits.

Now I only have two-hundred credits to my name.

Lovely.

"Here, sir. Thank you, sir." I said politely, sighing.

"Welcome," He responded back, smiling. "Come again soon."

"Maybe when I have money." I grumbled, looking sulky as I got my purchases.

"Of course! Wouldn't want you here otherwise," He said happily, and I glared.

Ouch, much?

Seriously, man; I feel so loved now.

_Not_.

Oh, whatever. I need to by some medi-gel now with my remaining credits, and then go prowl around for Shepard, because I decided right there and then that I was joining him/her.

I could use the military funding.

* * *

Instead of using the transport-thing, I walked up the stairs and over to the Med Clinic owned by Dr. Michel.

There ain't no _way_ in hell that I'm using those things again, unless I really, _really_ have to.

I _hate_ getting car sick.

As I walked over there, I suddenly realized that I must really stand out from these people that surround me. I'm wearing 'outdated' clothing, I have glasses, I'm overweight, I'm short, and I'm a lot younger than the adults that are around me – I didn't see a single teenager or even small a child. Also, I'm carrying three different bags, along with my shopping bag, and I walked at a slow, leisurely pace.

I smiled to myself, and walked a little more proudly.

I _like_ to stand out. There _is_ a reason why I loved putting my Shepard in bright yellow amour, you know.

_Too bad I don't still have long hair, _I mused sadly, absently ruffling my shoulder length hair. _Stupid lice. Man, I really wanted to strangle someone for that. I've hadn't had lice since I was five years old, and __**BAM**__, the children of the household infect me. Wonderful._

I repressed the sense of loss that threatened to resurface, stubbornly shoving it down. So what; I got a hair cut. Big deal. Just because I grew it out as tribute to my mother's memory doesn't mean anything...

Really.

I smiled falsely, because I knew that it was either doing _that_, or having a small mental breakdown in the middle of a crowd, and that wasn't an option for me.

I couldn't afford to cry, or yell, or scream right now. Besides; I don't let my emotions control me, if I can help it.

It would be undignified of me, to do such things.

_And anyway, it's nice to have short hair for once. It reminds me of happier days, before Mom passed away, and that's a good thing. Plus, I like having bangs now, and I'm even considering about keeping them while growing out the rest of my hair. So, the lice was a blessing in disguise; I just have to look at it in a different light, is all._

My fake smile softened a bit, becoming smaller, but it was more genuine now, and it didn't hurt my face as much.

Then I made a face, ruining my peaceful expression.

_Oh, damn it! I'm faking smiles again! Fucking hell, what is **wrong** with me? Gah! "Old habits die hard" – pah! Give me a spoon and I'll stab those freaking habits to DEATH! _I mentally hissed, greatly annoyed with myself.

* * *

After a few minutes I arrived at the clinic, and I opened the door. I walked in, looking calmer than I had a while ago.

Yay for being bipolar. Well, _mildly _bipolar, anyway. I was more ADD and depressed than I was bipolar.

Don't you just _love_ inherited mental issues?

…

I was being sarcastic, _stupid_.

Anyway, Dr. Michel looked up, surprised at my entrance, but smiled at me.

"Hello, there." The redheaded woman greeted me, her expression warm.

"Hi, are you Dr. Michel?" I asked, even though I already knew.

"Yes, I am. Do you need medical assistance?" She questioned, but was looking at me doubtfully, since I didn't seem to be hurt or sick.

I laughed, shaking my head. "No, ma'am. I was wanting to buy some medi-gel. Can never be too careful!" I said cheerfully, causing her to smile.

"Well –"

I squeaked when the door I just came through suddenly slid opened. Now, normally, this wouldn't make me squeak (unless I just wasn't paying attention to my surroundings or something), but just as the door opened a loud, aggressive voice spoke up, and _that_ was what startled me.

"Hey, doc! We heard you were wanting to blab your mouth out about the quarian!" The arrogant looking man smirked, and cockily entered the clinic, along with a team of lackeys, and they were all armed to the teeth.

I stared at them, wide eyed. Holy fuck! No way!

Why _now_, while I'm still in here? Couldn't they have waited until I left? _Gah!_

"I didn't tell anyone!" Dr. Michel protested, but she looked frightened.

Not that I blame her.

"W-what?" I stuttered, looking stunned.

Unfortunately, this attracted the attention of the leader of the group. He raised his brows, and then leered at me.

"Who's this, doc?" He sneered, and I stiffened. I did _not_ like the malice in those beady eyes of his. "A patient?"

"You leave her out of this!" Dr. Michel nearly growled, and stood in front of me. "She is an innocent!"

I blinked, startled by her defense of me. What the hell? I'm just a nobody in all this – no need to risk your life, honey.

However, I felt oddly touched by this, and, strangely enough, I felt like crying.

God – I hate being a teenage girl. So many hormones...

The man sneered and shoved her out of the way, causing her to fall to the ground. "Get out of my way, bitch!"

"Dr. Michel!" I cried, worried. I dropped my shopping bag and travel bag to the floor, temporarily forgotten, and quickly knelt down next to her. "Are you okay?" I whispered.

She managed a nod, but then the thug suddenly laughed, cutting off whatever response she had.

"Well, well, aren't you an sweetheart?" He mocked. I growled, looking indignant.

I am not _**SWEET!**_

"Well, well, aren't _you_ an asshole?" I snapped right back, standing up. I ignored Dr. Michel's pleas to _shut up, _and I boldly strode up to his cocky self and slapped him. "Never call me 'sweetheart' again, you bosh'tet! Or I'll mug you with my Bags of Doom, you sorry sonofa_bitch!"_ I threatened, fuming.

There was a stunned silence.

Then the man suddenly growled, and he was, no doubt, about to kick my ass, when Dr. Michel pulled me back and put me firmly behind her, where he or his goons couldn't shoot me down without taking her out first.

I nearly pouted at that – she's ruining all of my fun! – but I reminded myself that she was being _nice_, so I shouldn't be bull head about it.

"Ignore her! She's mentally unstable!" Dr. Michel announced, and I gaped stupidly at her back.

"I'm _what?"_ I hissed quietly from behind her, amused and annoyed at the same time.

"_Shut up!" _She hissed back, and then confronted the man. "I didn't tell anyone, I swear!"

The thug decided to forget about me for now, apparently, as he focused his attentions back to the doctor.

It was probably because she was a pretty redhead within his age range, while I was just some chubby "kid" to him.

Bastard.

"Heh," he smirked, coming closer to her. "That was smart, doc. Now, if Garrus comes around, you _stay smart_. Keep your mouth shut or we'll –"

I peeked around the doctor when I heard the doors open again, and I blinked when an awkward looking woman with a long, graceful neck entered the clinic, along with another woman and a man. And although I couldn't see him, I knew that Garrus was behind the divider thing that split the room up into two different parts.

I smiled, knowing that everything will be okay now. Call me naïve, but I honestly believed that things will be fine since Shepard was here – even if she was a Renegade.

_Which I seriously doubt, because that's __**my**__ Shepard right there, and __**she**__ was a Paragon – with some bouts of temper and here and there._ I added, amused.

I paused, _then again, the Powers That Be might decide to pull one over me, and make Shepard a Renegade, just to fuck with me. _

Blast and damn!

_Please, please, __**please**__ be a Paragon! _I prayed to the Goddess, because, yeah, Renegades have the most fun, but we'll all be fucked if she was a Renegade.

Well, I guess I'll find out what alignment she is in a minute, because the thug also spotted Shepard, and he roughly grabbed the doctor and pulled her to him, using her as a human shield.

Startled by the sudden movement, I stumbled back a bit, blinking, but I didn't otherwise move (well, I didn't move after I was sure that I wasn't in Garrus's way, anyway).

I was _going_ to move after Dr. Michel is freed, then the _two_ of us are going to hide somewhere in the resulting fire fight.

She deserves some loyalty from me, since she was nice enough to try and protect me when she really didn't have too, so I refused to cower away. Instead, I glared at the thug that had the doctor, ignoring the other thugs around me – I was smart enough to equip my shields before leaving the lower Markets, so I knew that I could survive against a few bullets.

"Who're you?" The thug demanded, snarling at Shepard.

Defensive, much?

"Let her go!" My Shepard ordered (uh, she's not really _my_ Shepard anymore, is she? Damn), aiming her pistol at the guy, looking strangely intimidating for a stick of a woman, who still seemed to be stuck in the awkward growing phase of her teenage years, all long limbs and seemingly clumsy. It was her eyes that did it, I thought, feeling oddly proud of the fire that glowed in her violet eyes, alight with the fierce urge to protect.

And with that simple look into her eyes, I knew that this was _my_ Shepard – the first one I made, the one that I worked so hard on, and the one that was my absolute favorite, because she wasn't drop dead gorgeous, and was rather plain, and she couldn't hack her way out of a paper bag, but she was a true, honest to God _hero_.

It was like seeing my baby all grown up before me.

My awed amazement was cut short when Garrus suddenly shot the thug that was holding Dr. Michel hostage (– _Boom! Headshot!_ –), causing the redhead to cry out in alarm, since she wasn't expecting that (totally understandable, really). I took this as my cue and I grabbed the doctor's hand and pulled her over to cover; I also bent over to grab the now dead thug's pistol as I moved.

Yay! I have a weapon now! Screw having a fucking license – I bet those assholes don't have one, either!

"Come on, Chloe!" I said, using her first name. I figured using her name might provide some kind of subconscious comfort to her.

Or some kind of bullshit like that.

I thought it was funny that the other thugs didn't pay us any mind (seriously, I nearly cackled, but I restrained myself), and they were instead regarding Garrus, who just came out of cover – looking all badass – like one would with a rabid dog.

It was funny. They even took a step back and everything.

And then things stopped being funny when the ensuing fire fight broke out. The doctor and I barely made it to cover when the first shot rang out, causing me to automatically flinch at the loud noise, but I shook it off. It was no different from my father's gun tournaments, the ones he had with his friends, and it was just as loud and irritating as hell.

Just, well, this wasn't target practice. This was real life (to my dismay), and I could get seriously hurt if I'm not careful.

But was that going to stop me?

Haha – fuck no.

I gave the shaken doctor a quick hug, because she looked like she needed one, and I bolted out from cover, heading for some cover that was closer to the thugs, so that I could aim and fire with little difficultly. I snickered at Dr. Michel's alarmed shout, amused by it. I rolled under a desk, and popped out from the other side, and ran over to cover, which happened to be next to Kaiden – damn. I really didn't like him too much in the game.

Oh, well. Time to make nice with the man.

He gave be a bewildered_ 'What the fuck?' _look, causing me to giggle a little, before I poked my head out, scanning for a target. I smirked grimly and shot at a guy with dirty blonde hair, taking out his shields. I felt a pang of guilt when Ashley shot him down with her shotgun, but I blocked it out. Again, this wasn't the time to let my emotions affect me.

"Who are you?" Kaiden demanded, also firing his pistol. After a moment, he Force Pushed someone (oh, wait – damn it! I hate it when I mix my fandoms up like that!), causing them to stumble.

"Tiana Rose Late!" I said promptly, grinning. I love saying my full name, no matter _what_ name I'm going under. "Teenager that's thinking of joining the military – think I'll do any good there, Mr. Biotical Man?"

Haha! It almost sounded like Bionicle!

God, I'm such a dork.

Kaiden snorted, looking warily amused.

"Maybe, if you aren't too cheeky," Ooo! He called me cheeky! I like him now! "I'm Lieutenant Alenko."

I pretended to look surprised, faltering a bit. I looked at him with big eyes, 'stunned'.

"Whoa. Wasn't expecting that," I mumbled, and then I looked at him 'hopefully'. "Um, think you could give me a recommendation or something?"

He glanced at me for a moment, considering me, before focusing back onto the fire fight. "Let's see how you do in actual combat first, kid," Kaiden decided, and I resisted the urge to cheer, because, damn it, I am _this_ close to getting that military funding that I want.

Hell yeah!

For once in my life, I was grateful for being an army vet's daughter, and for all of the things my dear old Daddykins taught me. I was good with a wide variety of guns, from pistols, to shot guns, to rifles – you name it, and I can use it. It wasn't that hard – just aim and shoot. The only problem I really had was remembering to use my right eye, not my left, as I carefully aimed at my targets, but that was a problem that my Dad had, too, at first, so I didn't worry overly much about it.

It was an easy thing to fix. _Much_ more easier than adjusting to the kick of a gun, anyway.

_Hell, I can out shoot my older brother, and he's, what? Twelve or so years older than I am? And I was ten or eleven at the time? Yeah, I got this in the bag._

Military funding, here I come!

* * *

"Don't you ever do that again!" Dr. Michel raged, and I gave her a nonplussed look. She still looked a little shaky by what just happened, but she was pulling herself together, and I could tell that she was only scolding me to help herself feel better.

So decided to gently tell her off, instead of chewing her out for treating me like a child.

"Miss Michel, pardon me, but you are not my mother." _She's long dead,_ I added silently, smiling grimly. "But I appreciate your concern."

I laughed suddenly. "Oh, and can I have that medi-gel now?" I questioned, grinning.

Dr. Michel snorted. "Of course – I'll even give you a discount!"

"Ooo! I love discounts!" I gleefully clapped my hands, looking giddy.

While we were conversing, I could hear Shepard scolding Garrus for taking such a risky move like that, since he could've shot the doctor, all the while subtlety complimenting him at the same time – she was clever like that.

Hee.

I love my Shepard, even though she isn't _mine_ anymore. It's going to take me a while until I can stop calling her 'mine'.

Great...

Garrus turned to the doctor, looking both sheepish and chagrined.

"Uh, Dr. Michel? Are you hurt?" Aw, he looked so guilty!

_He's so cute!_ I inwardly cooed. I paused. _But not as cute as Mordin! _I quickly added.

Dr. Michel shakily fidgeted with her hair, where the bullet whizzed by her, but gave him a genuine smile.

"No, I'm okay, thanks to you – " She paused to glance at everyone else, including me, also smiling. "All of you."

"Thanks for trying to protect me." I returned back to her, sounding sincere.

She smiled, looking a bit embarrassed.

My (GAH!) Shepard walked forwards a bit, and glanced at me for a second, looking curious, before she looked at the doctor, her expression serious.

"I know those men threatened you," She spoke softly, compassionately, and yet firmly. "But if you us tell who they work for, we can protect you."

The doctor hesitated, and I put a supporting hand on her arm, silently urging her to tell them, and that it was okay.

Dr. Michel smiled briefly at me, before looking back at Shepard.

"They work for Fist. They wanted to shut me up, keep me from telling Garrus about the quarian." The redhead told her, and although her voice shook, she kept talking.

I felt some respect for her, for doing that. She was obviously nervous, but she was stubbornly telling Shepard anyway – like a true ginger.

"What quarian?" Shepard questioned, looking puzzled.

The doctor looked down, biting her lip. I let her go so that she could pace, understanding the need to work off one's nervous energy.

"A few days ago," she started, anxiously wringing her hands. "A quarian came by my office. She'd been shot, but she wouldn't tell me who did it. I could tell that she was scared, probably on the run." She turned around and walked back to us. "She asked me about the Shadow Broker. She wanted to trade information in exchange for a safe place to hide."

_Poor Tali. _I thought, looking a bit sad.

"What happened next?" Shepard pressed gently.

"I put her in contact with Fist," Dr. Michel answered simply. "He's an agent for the Shadow Broker."

"Not any more," Garrus said abruptly, causing me to jump a little. I watched as he looked at Shepard, his expression serious. "Now he works for Saren, and the Shadow Broker isn't too happy about it." He finished, almost mockingly. He obviously thought it was ironically funny or something.

Dr. Michel look surprised, almost stunned. "Fist _betrayed_ the _Shadow Broker?"_ she murmured slowly, incredulous. She shook her head, "That's stupid, even for _him_. Saren must have made him quite the offer!"

"That, or he's lost too many brain cells," I mumbled, causing the doctor to chuckle.

"That quarian must have something Saren wants; something worth crossing the Shadow Broker to get," Garrus deduced, looking thoughtfully at the ceiling.

Shepard nodded, agreeing.

"She must have something that proves he's a traitor," Shepard decided, and I pretended to look surprised at this, while on the inside I was rolling my eyes, going _'well, __**duh**__'_ at the sentence. "Did the quarian mention anything about Saren, or the geth?"

"She did!" The doctor exclaimed. "The information she was going trade – she said it had something to do with the geth," she explained to us.

"She must be able to link Saren to the geth," Garrus said, and I could see a spark of excitement in his eyes. He had a lead. He turned to Shepard, looking at her intently. "There is _no way _that the Council can ignore this!"

Shepard nodded, smiling grimly. "It's time we paid Fist a visit."

Ooo. She's so cool!

I was about to ask if I could come along (I want that military funding, damn it!), but Garrus jumped in before I could.

The git.

"This is your show, Shepard – " Oh, you have no idea, Garr-Bear. " – But I want to bring Saren down as much as you do. I'm coming with you!" He declared, looking downright determined.

A flicker of surprise appeared across Shepard's face, but she smiled in acceptance, shrugging a little.

"Alright then; welcome abroad, Garrus." She said, looking a bit amused.

"I want to come, too!" I blurted out, impatient. I fail at waiting for people to stop talking when _I_ want to talk, okay? Yes, yes, I'm a rude little shit, but whatever.

I'm ADD and I have issues – I should be allowed to get away with some things.

Everyone stared at me in surprise, causing me to falter a bit.

Crap.

Do they _all_ need to look at me at the _same_ _time?_ Jesus Christ...

But I stubbornly plowed onwards, because _I_ – _want_ – _that_ – _funding! _

"Yeah, _hi_ there," I waved at them, looking a bit annoyed. "I'm Tiana Rose Late, and I am formally extending my allegiance to you, yada, yada, excreta, excreta, and I want to sign up to your merry little band here. And join the military afterwords. I'm good with any weapons you can think of, I can follow orders, I won't get in your way, I'll be quiet if you want me to, I'm creative with my strategies, and I'm damn good at providing distractions. May I _please_ come with you?" I practically begged, looking desperate.

I looked straight in Shepard's eyes, locking my blue-green irises with her violet orbs, silently pleading with her to say yes.

Hell, I don't know why I'm being so desperate about this. Sure, military funding would be nice, _really_ nice, actually, but it's not that big of a deal. Maybe...maybe it's because I genuinely _wanted_ to join Shepard on her 'Save the Galaxy' thing, maybe I wanted to help. Fuck, I don't know. Maybe it's because I need some security, something familiar, because I'm all alone in this universe, and I don't belong anywhere; the _Normandy_ and her crew were at least familiar to me, and there was a chance that I could fit in there, and not worry about being alone, defenseless.

I'm just a kid, stuck in a place that I once thought was nothing more than fiction. I also needed (really _needed_) some direction in my life, some sort of plan, or I'll go back to being that empty husk of a girl, who was too busy dreaming her life away to do anything useful, because she was too scared of reality –

I do _not_ want to go back to being that, that, _helpless _ever again.

I was stronger than that now, damn it...

Shepard stared at me silently for a moment, and then she slowly nodded.

"Okay," she said simply, and I blinked at her in surprise.

"...okay?" I repeated, hardly daring to hope.

"Okay," Shepard smiled. "Welcome, aboard."

I sighed in relief, and smiled quietly to myself.

For better or for worse, I am now on Shepard's team.

_Now, let's hope that I won't fuck anything up. _I thought privately to myself.


	2. My Proving Grounds

**AUTHOR'S NOTE – READ IT OR EAT IT! **

**DON'T THINK I WON'T SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT! **

Man, I love that.

Anyway; Here is the second chapter of _Hidden Layers_. This will (maybe) fill in some blanks for some people, since they didn't understand why Shepard was like "Okay!" to my, uh, fan fiction self. I said _maybe_, because I'm very vague about it, and I did that on purpose – if I'm vague about something in this story, I do for a reason, I assure you. But if you're sharp and can read between the lines, you'll get the picture.

Maybe. It is _very_ vague. I'll say this much, though – think of Sherlock Holmes.

Please enjoy,

GentlyConfused.

**PS: I don't own Mass Effect or anything aside from my own soul. **

**So there.**

**

* * *

**

Chapter 2 – It's time to dance on my Proving Grounds. Wish me luck, duckies!

* * *

Garrus sort of blinked at me, but shook his head and looked at Shepard.

Pifft. I bet you five bucks (er, credits?) that he just thought I'm some over eager kid that's butting her head in where only the "professionals" should be.

Thanks, Garrus. I love you, too, buddy. Really.

And _no_, I'm not plotting any pranks to unleash on you! _Never! _

...and yeah, I'm not fooling anyone, am I?

"Okay then, _anyway_, Shepard; we aren't the only ones going after Fist. The Shadow Broker hired a krogan bounty hunter named Wrex to take him out," Garrus informed Shepard, who looked thoughtful at this bit of news. I noticed that she glanced at me a couple of times too, and while she didn't exactly _frown_, she didn't really _smile_, either.

Huh. Should I be worried?

Ashley nodded, glancing at the commander. "Yeah, we saw him at the bar."

You know, I'm impressed by Ashley and Kaiden. Really I am; they haven't protested their commander's decision to include some random (in more ways than one) kid in on the Save the Galaxy Mission Of _Doom_, or even bat an eyelash.

That's admirable.

"Hm...a krogan might come in handy," Shepard murmured, and flickered her eyes up to Garrus. "Do you know where he is?"

"Last I heard, he was at the C-Sec Academy," The turian offered.

Kaiden blinked, taken aback by that answer. "What's he doing there?"

"Fist accused him of making threats – " Wrex? Make _threats? _No! Totally unbelievable! (Ha!) " – so we brought Wrex in for a little talk. If we hurry, we can catch him at the academy before he leaves."

"Right," Shepard nodded sharply. "Let's move out."

Damn. I guess that means I won't be getting that medi-gel for now.

I better leave my stuff here, too, aside from _my_ pistol (because it's _mine_ now! Screw you, dead body!) and my omni-tool. Less things to weigh me down while we're running around the Citadel. And we _will_ be running, too, if we're going to get Tali.

Joy. I never did like running – I have such a gay ass run. Maybe that will change, later.

Oh goodness. I'm probably going to go through hell during training, aren't I? Because, yeah, I'm sure that there _will_ be training, since I don't see Shepard, or Williams, for that matter, letting someone get away with staying out of shape – especially a..._possible_...team member.

_Possible_, because I'm not sure if they'll want me when it's discovered that I have no background.

Bah. Whatever. I'll worry about that _later_.

...when it slaps me in the face.

I quickly took my bags off, grabbed my shopping bag that had my omni-tool in it, and asked Dr. Michel to watch my stuff for me.

She agreed, thank Goddess.

Seriously, I'm beginning to like this woman!

* * *

"So, how old are you, kid?" Ashley asked me as we walked down the steps to the academy's elevator, startling me. I was messing with my omni-tool, exploring it's settings and getting used to it when she asked me. I was largely confused while I was fiddling with it, but I was confident that I'd figure it out soon.

Maybe.

"Uh, eighteen?" I stared at her, "Why do you ask?"

"No reason, just curious." She said nonchalantly, which automatically made me suspicious. But since I couldn't think of _why_ such an innocent question could be a bad thing, I decided to just drop it and move on.

"Ah..." As a gesture of good will, I walked closer to her and showed her my activated omni-tool. "Do you know how to work this thing? I've never had an omni-tool before."

We were at the foot of the stairs when I said this, and everyone stopped and _stared_ at me!

"What?" I snapped, looking self-conscious.

"You've never had an_ omni-tool _before?" Kaiden questioned, looking at me incredulously. Shepard seemed to be just as shocked, because her jaw had dropped in shock.

"Nooo..." I said slowly, and then I eyed them warily._ Come to think of it, doesn't it seem like __**everyone**__ in ME has an omni-tool? Uh oh, did I just do a major social fubar right then? Crap! Damage control! _

"I never saw the need for one, until recently, since I'll be joining the military and all," I lied, making sure to act causal, but not _too_ causal. "I don't even have an email yet."

Which was true; I _don't_ have an email here yet.

Yay for creative truth telling!

Ashley stared at me. "Wow. Just..._wow._"

"Oh, shut up!" I huffed, looking flustered. She didn't have an omni-tool, either! Unless that changed...hm. "Shouldn't we be going now? Don't want to miss this Wrex guy, right? Right! Now let's go!"

Garrus laughed at me.

_Ass._

As I was sulking, Shepard drew nearer to me, and tapped me on the shoulder.

I eyed her warily. Was she going to make some wise ass joke?

"Yes?" I drawled, suspicious.

But she just smiled at me. "If you want, I can teach you how to use your omni-tool later, help you set up an email address." Shepard offered.

...see? She is _totally_ my favorite!

"Okay," I said shyly, and I smiled back at her. "I'd like that."

I didn't even think that her offer could've just been a nice way of getting a feel for my personality and motives during the_ "Omni-Tool And You"_ lesson, because as I've said before;

My Shepard is clever.

And I'm, sadly, naïve as hell...

Kinda.

_And DAMN IT! _I internally raged, pissed off. _I keep calling her __**mine!**__ What the shit? Seriously! It'd be a different story if she was my girlfriend or something, but, gads, that would be __**creepy**__, because that would be like dating your daughter or something. Or, hell, my older sister, since she's about as old as my brother. Okay, subconscious mind – listen to me...she is not mine. She is not mine – now say it __**with**__ me, "She is not mine"! She just __**happens**__ to look like my Shepard, okay? That doesn't make her __**my**__ Shepard – just her twin._

* * *

Oh god. I'm in an _elevator_.

I have never been an elevator before.

It's...weird.

And slow.

..._really_ fucking slow.

"Why are elevators slow?" I asked aloud, looking bored as I stared at the ceiling.

Ashley snorted. "Beats me, kid."

"Hm..." I hummed, thinking. "I bet there's some kind of voice automated password that the Council use to make it speed up for them, because I don't see those guys willingly suffering through this kind of hell."

That got some chuckles from them.

Yay! Feel the happiness and cheer!

Now, if only this elevator could just _speed up_, I'll be happy.

_Are elevators this slow at home? _I wondered.

* * *

We entered C-Sec Academy just in time to hear an officer say; "Witnesses saw you making threats in Fist's bar. Stay _away_ from him."

I snorted at that, raising my brows as we entered.

Those are _mighty_ big words for a little guy standing up against a krogan.

Wrex seemed less amused than I was. "I don't take orders from _you_," he sneered.

"This is your only warning, Wrex." The C-Sec officer cautioned, looking at him warily.

"You should warn _Fist_ – I will kill him," Wrex said, no, _promised_, getting into the officer's face.

Ooo! Where's the popcorn?

The officer stepped back. "Do you _want_ me to arrest you?" He questioned – and again with the big words from the little guy!

I almost want to give him points for having the balls to do that.

Wrex smirked, "I want you to _try,_" He baited, looking amused.

Then he paused, and lightly sniffed the air, and tilted his head towards us – _no_. Towards_ Shepard._

Ooo! Seriously, _where's_ the popcorn?

I smiled as Wrex turned around fully and strode over to us, his eyes focused on my (I twitched – my brain just screamed at me) Shepard.

"Go on, get out of here!" The officer taunted as Wrex left, and I shot him a _Glare_ – with a capital 'G'!

"Oh, shut _up_ already!" I snapped at him, looking very unamused. What? _You_ try having your brain scream at you. "You're just making an ass out of yourself now! God..."

Shepard shot me this dry, pained look, and I gave her a look in return, one that clearly, and innocently, said, _"What?"_.

However, before Shepard could say anything in reply, Wrex had arrived. I felt honored when he actually spared me a glance, but, then again, he had glanced at everyone in Shepard's party, not just me, so I guess I shouldn't feel so special. He focused back to Shepard, and it was obvious that he thought she was more of a threat – a challenge.

I wasn't sure if I should feel insulted, or not.

"Do I know you, human?" He questioned, staring at her.

"My name's Shepard – " Jane Shepard! I think... " – I'm going after Fist," Shepard crossed her arms, and looked Wrex right in the eye, smirking lightly. "Thought you might want to come along."

Wrex grunted, thinking. "Shepard? Commander Shepard? I've heard a lot about you," He mused, and stepped closer to her, getting into her personal space. "We're both warriors Shepard, so out of respect, I'll give you a fair warning – "

He leaned in, crimson red eyes boring into her. "_I'm_ going to kill Fist."

Yikes.

Garrus quickly spoke up then, looking warily between Shepard and Wrex, who were locked in a stare-match, "Fist knows you're coming. We'll have a better chance if we all work _together,_" he stressed the last word, looking pointedly at the krogan.

Wrex was silent for a moment, but then he grinned; it was both scary as hell and reassuring all at once to see.

"My people have a saying; _seek the enemy of your enemy, and you will find a friend_," He quoted, and Shepard smiled brightly.

"Glad to have you on the team, Wrex!" Shepard said, and shook hands with him.

Yay!

"Let's go. I'd hate to keep Fist waiting," Wrex said, and I nearly did a fangirl squeal.

Yay! We have Wrex! We have Wrex! We have _Wrex!_

Woo!

Can you tell I'm happy? Just a _little?_

* * *

_Oh. My. God! _I mentally shrieked, ducking behind a table for cover, and I could feel my heart racing in my chest. _This is madness!_

_And my happy feeling is dead! I mourn for thee, dear happy feeling!_

We were currently in Chora's Den, and, dude, I can't believe that I was thinking about _working_ here! There were thugs all _over_ the damn place, and shooting at everything in sight, and_ holy fuck!_ It's insane in here!

I swallowed, and peeked around the edge, only to quickly pull back with an expletive when I nearly got shot.

"Shit!" I popped out again and rapidly fired at the moron that nearly killed me, pissed off. "Fuck you, too!"

Once he was dead (_My fifth kill today,_ a part of me noted, sadly), and when no one else was paying me any mind, I darted across the room to Wrex.

What? In comparison to Kaiden, I freaking _adored_ Wrex. He just rocks, you know?

"Hello!" I chirped to him. "Do you have any grenades? The stupid shopkeeper wouldn't give me any!" I pouted.

Now, there was a fifty-fifty chance that he'll give me one, because out of all of ME characters I can think of, he's probably one of the few to give some kid an explosive, because, well, he's just awesome like that – although, knowing my luck, he'll probably say no, just to spite me.

_Damn_, I sulked.

Wrex grunted, and eyed me for a second, but then gave me an _actual_ grenade _and_ a detonator! "Hn. Here, pipsqueak – don't blow yourself up."

You know those times when people have a 'laaaaa!' moment, with the light and the singing angels?

I had one of those moments as I held a _real_, non-dud, explosive in my hands for the first time.

I think I'm going to cry.

I sniffled, looking awed. "Thank you! I love you!" And then, without really thinking about it, I affectionately kissed him on the side of his face, before looking around for a target.

Wrex actually paused to give me a 'WTF?' look, thrown off, but I was too busy to really notice.

_There! The krogan dude! _I mentally shouted, gleeful. _He needs some damage done to him so that someone else can take him out! I's can do it!_

I lugged the grenade at him – and I was only mildly surprised when I actually _hit_ him. I usually fail at throwing things, hence why I sucked at basketball – and, once I was certain I had the guy, I pressed the button. It was big, red, and shiny.

I _loved_ it!

_KA-BOOM!_

– but I loved _that_ even more!

The krogan, being a krogan, just kinda stumbled a bit, but his shields were _down_, baby, and he was easy pickings now!

"Woo!" I cheered, before ducking back into cover. I grinned at Wrex. "That was fun!"

Wrex blinked a bit, but smirked. "Not bad...for a pipsqueak."

"Wrex, you just gave me something that goes boom," I said frankly, smiling at him. I felt like I was on Cloud Nine. "You can call me whatever the hell you want for the rest of your life, I won't care a bit."

I had my happy feeling back.

And Wrex now has a friend in me for _life! _He's never getting rid of me!

I was even about to tell him so, when I remembered, that, hey, we're in the middle of a battle field here. Is it really such a good idea to be chatting like this?

Hm, lemme think – _**NO!**_

Maybe once I'm little bit more confident in my skills – _then_ I'll chat with everyone. Because, while I may be a pretty good shot (Thank you, Daddy! I never thought this would be useful, but I was wrong!), I've never actually been in combat before, until today. Hell, no one noticed (and I sure as hell wasn't going to _point it out_), but I was shaking a little after the incident in the clinic.

I was actually _scared_.

But was my fear going to make me a useless, sobbing mess? Or, God forbid, a coward?

No.

I am both my mother's daughter, _and_ my father's daughter, and neither of them are (or were, in Mom's case) cowards. And, as usual, I _refuse_ to be a disgrace to their names, because even though I can barely remember my Mom, and I thought my Dad was an insensitive jerk ( – a flare of anger and hurt shot through me – ), they were still _good people_, and I'm honestly grateful for being their child.

So, instead of crawling under a table and crying, or fangirling over Wrex, I just calmly asked if he had any more grenades.

He did.

So, I took the three grenades, checked my shields (all 100 percent), double-checked that I had my pistol, and I went back into the fray.

I have a krogan to kill, who _isn't_ on my list of friends.

And hey, if my (possible) teammates are impressed that I took out a full grown krogan all by myself, with only a mild concussion to show for it, then, well, yay.

That's good. That might help me later on.

But I didn't do it for them.

I did it for _me_.

* * *

I eyed Fist, and I couldn't help but think, _this was the guy I was planning on working for? Pitiful. Next time I think about working in a bar, I'm going to Flux, man._

I mean, _look_ at him. He's kinda, just, sniveling and cowering on the ground there. Oh, yeah, he has a good reason, since Shepard is pointing a gun at him and everything, but _God_, that's just pathetic – have some pride, man! At least _pretend_ that you aren't scared! Like I do! It works, I swear!

Of course, the man couldn't hear my helpful tips, because he wasn't psychic.

_Ooo! I wish **I** was psychic! I took a test once, and it said I was 98 percent psychic, but I think it was lying to me – I'm more like, 15 percent, if at all. Because, sure, I have potential (most people do), but I don't see shadow people like my sister-in-law does sometimes, and I never saw Mom's spirit like Bubba did, or anything like that at all. I only get the shitty stuff, like – _

_GAH! ADD! Die! Die! **Die!**_

While I was mentally slapping my ADD around in my head, I missed a lot (okay, okay – _all_) of the conversation, and only came back when Wrex whipped out his gun and blew Fist's face off.

I jumped at the noise, shocked. But then, after I blinked a bit, and refocused onto the Outside, I quickly realized what had happened, and I looked down.

At the messy sight of Fist's body.

_Ew! _

I made a face, and then I kinda hid behind Ashley, blocking the corpse from my view.

What? I may have killed today (and I'm probably going to have nightmares tonight because of it), but, dude – that's just gross!

_And that was such a total __**girl**__ thing to say_, I noted, drily. _"It was gross! Eek!" _

Of course, I wasn't the only one that jumped; Garrus nearly had a heart attack, while Kaiden nearly fell backwards, and Ashley almost fired her gun off in reflex.

Shepard? Shepard just kinda looked pissed off.

_Ooo!_

"Damn!" Kaiden mumbled as he got his balance back, and he looked a little flustered. Ashley helped him, and I backed up so that I wasn't in their way.

"What are you _doing?" _Garrus exclaimed at the krogan, looking wide eyed.

_He just shot a guy, Garr-Bear,_ I thought to him, helpfully.

"The Shadow Broker paid me to _kill_ him," Wrex reminded us, and he looked bored. "I don't leave jobs half done."

"Don't _ever_ pull something like that again!" Shepard rounded on to him, going to Commander Mode, her violet eyes flashing.

_Ooo!_

But, honestly, I didn't really care, because I got over the _"Eek! Gross!"_ factor, and I decided to nudge Fist's body with my boot, making _sure_ that he was dead. It wasn't that I doubted Wrex's ability to kill (hell no!), I just wanted to make sure. I nearly smiled when I spotted my rainbow colored shoelaces, which peeked out from under the hem of my pants as I nudged Fist's body.

_Taste the rainbow – er, walk with the rainbow!_

"What are you doing?"

"Hm?" I paused, and I absently looked at Kaiden, who had his eyebrows raised. Ashley also looked puzzled, if faintly amused.

I stared at them, and slowly put my foot down, and I shuffled back a few steps from the body. I was blushing, wasn't I?

Curses!

"Um, making sure he's dead?" I said meekly, and I sheepishly tugged at my hair. I laughed nervously. "Yeah, I'm weird. Or paranoid. Whatever."

Oh come, _on!_ I can't be the _only_ one that's ever wanted to do that!

Right?

* * *

Oh, shoot. I forgot about the re-spawned goons – well, okay they didn't 're-spawn', but more of them seemed to have popped up while we were busy with Fist.

Since we were running out of time, I decided to offer one of my ideas, because it seemed like my (possible) teammates were preparing to fight them as quickly as possible – although, Shepard wasn't, actually; she seemed to be thinking. I wonder if she has the same idea as I do.

One way to find out.

"Hey, guys, why don't we just make a run for it? The quarian can't afford for us to waste any time with these goons," I pointed out. "Just make sure our shields are fully charged, and just run pass them. Mr. Alenko and Wrex can push anyone out of our way with their biotics, if they have to."

Ha. This is probably one of the rare times that I'll ever suggest that _running_ is a good idea.

I hate running. But it's necessary, since we _need_ to get to Tali.

She can't die.

Shepard glanced at me, looking startled. Oh? Does that mean she was thinking the same thing?

Ooo! That's so cool! I think like the commander!

Or is it that _she_ thinks like _me?_

Hum...

Ow.

Okay. That hurts my brain – let's just say we think alike, because we're just awesome like that. "Great minds" and all that rot.

Less headaches that way.

* * *

_And_...we're running.

Running, running, running, tra la la – oh, shit! I almost ran into that wall! That would have _hurt!_

Gah. See? I _told_ you! I fucking _fail_ at running!

And if Wrex doesn't stop _laughing_ at me (the fucker), I'm going to jump on his back and _bite_ him – and don't think I don't have the guts to do that!

Or the stupidity.

Whichever you think it is.

It's the probably the later, isn't it?

Meh.

* * *

I'm _amazed_ that I managed to run all the way to Tali's location without killing myself.

...aside from almost hitting that wall.

I _swear_, that wall just jumped out of _nowhere! _I honestly hadn't seen it until it was almost too late to dodge.

_I bet I lost Awesome Points because of that, didn't I? _I thought suspiciously, glaring at nothing. _Damn._

Now I almost hope that I _won't_ be on the team, because I know – I fucking _know!_ – that they will _never_ let me live that down!

Shepard motioned for us to be quiet, and we watched as a turian walked up to Tali. The two salarians were standing back, silent, but were armed and ready.

I may not be able to see Tali's face, but I could tell by her body language that she was uncomfortable and wary about the situation she found herself in, especially when the turian got into her personal space.

"Did you bring it?" He questioned her her, admiring her figure.

"Where's the Shadow Broker? Where's Fist?" Tali warily stepped back, but stilled when the turian touched her arm, causing her to tense. I think she wanted rip his arm off and beat him with it –

...or, that could just be _my_ reaction, if I was in her position.

Cough.

"They'll be here – " _Liar._ "Now, where's the evidence?"

Tali pulled back, slapping his hand away from her with a sharp _'snap!'_ noise.

Damn – she hit him _hard!_ I heard that from way over here!

_Go, Tali! _I mentally cheered._ Kick his ass!_

"No _way_. The deal's off!" Tali declared, and the turian backed away from her. She noticed that the salarians were preparing to shoot her, and she did this really cool, graceful dodge roll to the side, while _also_ throwing a grenade out at the salarians at the same time.

_KA-BOOM!_

Okay, that is _it_; that girl, right _there_, is going to be my new best friend!

Simple as that.

She knows the value of things that go boom!

– _and_ there's another shoot out to take care of now. Damn it!

This gets old _fast_, you know?

I sighed, but went into cover with Ashley.

_Might as well get it over with..._

* * *

Tali was pissed off. I knew this because she all but yelled, "Fist set me up! I _knew_ I couldn't trust him!", and was simmering in rage.

Ooo! I'm almost tempted to poke her, just to see if she'll hit me or not.

Hm. Although, I wonder if the anger was just a cover, to try and hide the fear?

Possible.

"Were you hurt in the fight?" Shepard asked, and seemed to be ready to apply medi-gel at a moment's notice.

Yay, Nurse Shepard!

...yeah, I'll shut up now.

Tali seemed to be calming down now, at this point, and she shook her head at the commander.

"I know how to look after myself," Tali said, almost defensively. But then she paused, and added, "Not that I don't appreciate the help. Who are you?"

"My name's Jane Shepard, and I'm looking for evidence that proves Saren's a traitor," Shepard said, and, _hey_, aren't you going to introduce your friends, Miss Sheppy?

Apparently not...

And dude! Her name _is_ Jane! Cool!

"Then I have a chance to repay you for saving my life. But not here, we need to go somewhere safe," Tali pointed out, and seemed to be warily looking around our surroundings, like she half expected for more thugs to pop up and attack us.

Which, admittedly, is possible.

"We could take you to the human embassy," Garrus offered, and looked at Shepard. He shrugged, "Your ambassador will want to see this, anyway."

Shepard nodded, and she had us move out, and made sure that we circled around Tali, since she would be a prime target for any of Saren's men.

Oh, yay. I get to be a human shield.

I'm just _bursting_ with happiness here.

_Not_.

Oh, well.

"So, what's your name?" I asked Tali, in a rather bubbly and air-headed way.

Why? Because it never fails to throw people off. Plus, it's fun!

Haha!

"Tali'Zorah nar Rayya," Tali said, and I could hear a smile in her voice. "But you can call me Tali, for short."

"Cool! I'm Tiana Rose Late! You can call me Tia, if you want," I offered happily, smiling.

_Awesome Operation: BFF _is now in action!

Wee!

* * *

"You aren't making my life _easy_, Shepard," Udina stated the moment we entered his office, looking out the window. He sounded tried. "Fire fights in the Wards, an_ all out_ assault on Chora's Den; do you know_ how many_ – " The old guy turned around, but was taken aback to see a big krogan, a turian, a pretty quarian, and some chubby human kid standing around with Shepard and her unit.

Hee.

I think the hamster in his head fell off its wheel.

Poor hamster.

Anderson also seemed a little amused, getting up from his seat. I looked at him with curious eyes, a bit surprised to see that he reminded me of my father – just, a darker skinned and slightly younger version of him. They both had a similar air of...of...command, I suppose? They were both military men, at least. But unlike my Dad, who was discharged from duty because of an injury to his leg, Anderson was still in the military.

_But I bet he doesn't have as many metals as my Dad, does. _I thought, actually feeling a little proud. _My daddy has a whole box of metals and badges, he even has a rather...unique badge that only belongs to the elite – my brother says that there's only so many of those badges out there (like, seven or fifteen – it's a __**very**__ small number, and are really rare), and they were only given to the members of some kind of special ops group. Dad always refuses say anything about it, and dodges questions, which is like a flashing sign, you know? He doesn't doesn't deny or admit to anything, but kinda gives us this cheesy, kinda sheepish, grin, and changes the subject._

That has to be one of the few memories I have of Dad lately where I don't feel disappointed, annoyed, hurt, or awkward.

Anderson caught me staring, and he gave me a curious look. I just smiled at him, and looked away, looking back at Udina.

I firmly shoved thoughts of my father away, and concentrated on the _now_.

Udina blinked a little, and then focused on Tali, scowling. I noticed that he seemed to be the most surprised by _her_ presence. It wasn't prejudice, I _think_ – just, surprise.

Hm.

Maybe he got reports from various people about the aliens and kid that was hanging around with the commander, so he knew about Garrus, Wrex and I? But since Tali is a recent development, he hadn't gotten any reports on her yet?

Maybe.

Then again, I could just be looking too deeply into this, because really, what reason would he have to monitor Shepard?

...don't answer that. I hate it when my conspiracy theories turn out to be right.

Drives me up the _wall_.

"What's this? A quarian? What are you up to, Shepard?" Udina is a very suspicious bastard, I've decided.

But Shepard wasn't at all offended. She just smiled.

It was a nice smile.

"Making your day, Ambassador," Shepard said. She nodded her head at Tali, "She has information that links Saren to the geth."

This seemed to ease the old codger's nerves a bit, because he became a bit more polite to us now. Anderson was also interested by this, and looked at Tali sharply.

No doubt he was excited to have some proof of Saren's treachery.

"Really? Maybe you should start at the beginning, miss...?" Udina trailed off.

"My name is Tali. Tali'Zorah nar Rayya," Tali answered. _Gah_. I think that's the most awesome name I've ever heard, really, but it's a real mouth full, too.

Probably why it's so impressive.

"We don't see many quarians here. Why did you leave the Flotilla?" The ambassador inquired.

_Should I but in the conversation to get Awesome Points? Hm...no, I don't think the resulting questions would be worth it._

Oh, well.

I sighed quietly, but I calmly listened to the conversation, resisting the urge to daydream.

I need to pay attention, so that I can make a good impression.

_Just pretend that this is class, and that you __**need**__ to pay attention if you want to pass. _I silently coached myself. _You've done it before, you can do it again!_

"I was on my Pilgrimage, my rite of passage into adulthood," Tali told him, shuffling her feet a bit.

Shepard waited a beat, but when Tali didn't continue, she gently urged her. "Tell us what you found, Tali."

Tali nodded, and took a deep breath, getting all of the air that she needed in order to tell us her findings.

"During my travels, I began to hear reports of geth activity. Since they drove my people into exile, the geth have never ventured beyond the veil. I was curious, so I tracked a patrol of geth to an uncharted world, and I waited for one to become separated from it's unit. Then, I disabled it and removed it's memory core." She reported, and even though I've heard this a thousand times already, I was fascinated with her words. I didn't even have to pretend to listen, or even force myself to.

She had a nice, smooth voice that was nice to listen to, and she used all of the right vocal inflections and hand gestures to get her point across.

I think she'd be a great storyteller. If she ever has kids, they're going to _love_ her for that.

I was actually almost upset when Shepard spoke up.

"What did you find out from the memory core?" Shepard asked, and I almost pouted at her.

_She interrupted story time! _And that's my inner child speaking right there.

Oh, well, at least it was a question that would help move Tali's story along.

"Most of the core was wiped clean," Tail answered, and activated her omni-tool. She pressed some buttons. "But, I salvaged something from it's audio banks."

"What'd you get?" I asked, stepping a little bit closer to her, and looking curiously at her omni-tool. I really needed to figure out how to work mine...

"I got _this_," She said, and with that, she pressed some kind of button. I wasn't sure what one she pressed.

I shivered a little as Saren's voice filled the room, and I stared at the omni-tool with wide eyes.

Is it just me, or does he sound scarier in real life?

"Eden Prime was a major victory! The Beacon has brought us _one step_ closer to finding the Conduit," Saren's voice sounded arrogant and ice-cold, and was almost devoid of all organic passion.

Anderson's eyes lit up, and he gestured at Tali's omni-tool. "That's Saren's voice! This _proves_ that he was involved in the attack!"

Shepard nodded, looking pleased. "Saren won't be getting out of this one,"

I don't think she likes Saren all that much.

Tali spoke up before they could celebrate, "Wait, there's more! Saren wasn't working alone," She quickly pressed some more buttons, and the auto file replayed itself, and, after Saren said his piece again, Benezia's voice came out.

"And one step closer to the return of the Reapers," Her voice was cold and empty, with only a hint of satisfaction in her tone.

Gah – Mind Controlled!Benezia is _creepy_ sounding.

Udina thought for a moment, mulling over Benezia's voice. "I don't recognize that other voice, the one talking about 'Reapers'," he finally said, and looked at Anderson. "Do you recognize the voice, Anderson?"

But Anderson shook his head, looking both troubled and bemused. "No, I don't."

Shepard was completely ignoring the 'mysterious and unknown' voice, concentrating on the word 'Reaper'.

"I feel like I've heard that name before," she mused, absently rubbing her head, as if she had a headache. Her eyes narrowed in thought. Shepard looked over to Tali when she answered her unasked question, and I also looked at the older girl in curiosity.

"According to the memory core, the Reapers were a hyper advance machine race that existed _fifty-thousand __**years**_ ago – " _and I'm getting caught up in Tali's storytelling voice again_, I distantly noted, somewhat annoyed with myself. " – The Reapers hunted the Protheans to total extinction, and then they vanished!" She said, sounding excited by the mystery of the Reapers. She noted Udina's skeptical look, however, and wilted a bit under it. "At least, that's what the geth believe," she added, quieter.

_Aw! _I mentally cried, and gently patted her on her the shoulder, and smiled encouragingly at her. "I think it could be true. Why would something with a computer-brain lie? It goes against logic," I pointed out.

_Let's just ignore the evil AI conspiracies, okay? _I added silently in my head.

Udina snorted, and eyed me with great disdain.

_What? Did I track in mud on your carpet – oh! Wait, there isn't any carpet. _

My bad.

"Sounds a little farfetched to me," Udina said, still eying me like I was some kind of stain on his favorite shirt. "Who are you, anyway? Children aren't _allowed_ in the embassies,"

My eye twitched.

"For your information," I began, making sure that my tone was polite, if a little icy. "I am eighteen years old, and that makes me an adult by Earth law – " I was bullshitting that part, but no one objected, so I figured it was right. "And my name is Tiana Rose Late; pleased to meet you, _ambassador_."

Ooo! I don't know _how_ I did it, but I somehow made 'ambassador' sound like an insult.

Damn, I'm good!

Anderson looked at me in surprise, causing me to (naturally) give him a _'What?' _look.

"Tiana Late? You're Steven's daughter, aren't you?" He questioned, and that totally _floored_ me!

How the _fuck_ did he know my Dad's name?

"W-wha, um, yes, sir. Why?" I managed to stutter out, looking startled.

What the fuck?

Anderson smiled softly at me, and strode over to me and he – he _hugged_ me!

What. The. _Fuck?_

I hesitantly returned the hug, and I caught Garrus's eye. I think I looked really freaked out, because he snorted, and quickly looked away from me, and his shoulders shook with suppressed laughter.

Yeah. Thanks, Garr-Bear. Love you, too, hon.

If your amour is ever _mysteriously_ painted pink while you're asleep, I won't suppress my laughter – oh no, no.

_I'm_ going to laugh _long_ and _hard_, until I freaking _cry_, you asshole!

Gah.

"Um, sir?" I stared as he pulled away from me, and I blinked up at him. His brown eyes suddenly looked incredibly sad.

_What the hell is this? _I wondered, absolutely bewildered. _What is with the sudden public display of affection here? I don't even __**know**__ you!_

Then Anderson completely blew my mind away with what he said and did next.

He put his hands on my shoulders in a supporting manner, looked me in the eyes, and said, in a solemn tone, "I'm sorry for your loss."

I froze.

"W-what?"

Why do I suddenly feel dread at those words?

"Anderson?" Udina questioned, sounding as confused as I felt.

Anderson let go of my shoulders, but kept a reassuring hand on my back. I think it's because I looked shell-shocked. He looked over at Udina, his expression serious.

"This is the girl I was talking about earlier, ambassador. I used to be in her father's unit, before he was discharged from service on account of his injury. He was a good man, and I'm damn proud to have served with him." He gently rubbed my back, as I shook, mistaking my jolt of surprise for grief. "Her father and remaining family were murdered just last week. She's an orphan now."

I blinked, and then my face shuttered closed.

_Murdered? _

I quickly walked out of the room, looking pale.

* * *

For once in my life, my mind was silent.

There were no witty comebacks.

There weren't any grumblings or cursing.

There wasn't any ideas or conspiracy theories running in my head.

Silence.

Logically, I _knew_ that my Dad and brother were alive, because this wasn't my world. Somewhere out there, back at home, they were alive and well. Bubba was fixing computers and flirting with his wife, and Daddy was working on his guns, and quietly mourning mother, as always – did you know, that in the ten years of her death, he hasn't bothered with remarrying or dating, because there wasn't "another Jennifer" out there for him?

Terribly romantic of him, I know – but it's something that I could respect about him, because whenever I sometimes wondered what Mom ever saw in him, whenever I was at odds with him, all I needed to do was take one look at his lonely figure, or watch when he gently touched her photograph, or listen when he laughed at some crazy stunt she did in the past...

I think I understood what she saw in him, at those times, even if he _is_ a stubborn man.

So, yes. I knew that he and my brother were perfectly safe and sound. Maybe worried about me ( – _I've been here for hours now _– ), but they were okay.

But emotions don't always listen to logic, and I was still in shock by what Anderson just reveled to me.

It was almost like the time Mom died, but not quite. I was numb, sure, but...I didn't feel dead on the inside, you know?

I think just I feel sorry for the fact that a version of me lost even _more_ than I did, which I never had thought was possible.

_I_ lost my childhood when my mother died. _I _lost my innocence as I dropped a blood-red rose into the dark hole that she was being buried in._ I _lost my spirit when my _friends_ started to break me down in my weakened state. _I_ lost nearly nine years of my life, wondering around in a dream-like stupor, letting everything pass me by, damning my future until I was snapped awake by a dear friend – and _kept_ awake.

But this girl, this..._other me_, she just lost her big brother, the one that was always there for her when she needed help, the guy that quit _high school_ for her when their parents weren't able to watch her during those troubled times, her _best friend_. She lost her father, the old geezer that spoiled her senseless as a child and taught her how to count by using bullet shells, and never listened to her when she said she had a problem, the man that loved her the moment she was born...

This other girl, this, this, other _me_, she just lost what was left of her broken family.

I inhaled sharply, and covered my face, trying to stop tears that wanted to spill out. I slid down the wall I was leaning against, biting my lip as I sat down, trying to keep any rebellious sobs I had at bay.

I _refused_ to cry over something that had _nothing_ to do with me, damn it!

I sniffled, and looked around myself. I no idea where I was, since I was just sort of walking around in a dazed-like state until now. It was dark, and the light was sort of red-ish in color, and it was quiet. After a moment, I realized that I was in the Citadel Tower, where that keeper was, in the shadows, where that...that walkway-thing was, off to the side.

"How did I get _here?"_ I mumbled, rubbing my eyes, bemused.

I sighed, and dropped my head into my hands.

_Oh, well. I don't really care_, I thought, dully. I smirked darkly. _By now, Shepard and her team are either talking with the Council, or on the _Normandy_, all ready to go on an adventure of a lifetime. Great. Just great._

I hate my life.

_Well, good news is, I don't have to worry about not having a background. Bad news is, I'm an orphan here!_ I mentally said to myself, in a mock-cheery tone, and I sniggered bitterly.

I don't even know why I'm laughing; that wasn't funny.

I moaned and slapped myself. "Damn it! Get it together, woman!" I hissed, pissed off at myself.

Look at me! I'm having a freaking _breakdown_ over something that didn't even _happen_ to me personally!

Where is that apathetic calm I'm famous for when the shit hits the fan? Where is that manic grin of mine? What the hell is _wrong_ with me? I'm the insensitive bitch, remember? The one that doesn't cry – ever? Not even when Bubba gets in a car wreck? The one that's _never_ effected by emotional means? The one that's perfectly calm when someone suddenly collapses, and is the one that comes up with a solution?

What is _wrong_ with me?

Is it because this is similar to that secret fear of mine? The one where I loose the last remaining shreds of my family?

Is _that_ what's wrong? Is that why I'm flipping out here?

I sighed heavily, and laid down, automatically curling up, like I do whenever I fall asleep.

Figures.

Out of _all_ of things that could cause me to lose my cool, it's _this_ whiny-assed fear of mine.

Stupid, stupid, stupid...I'm so _stupid_.

A few minutes later, I heard (and _felt_) someone's footsteps as they walked onto the ramp, cutting into my thoughts.

But I didn't so much as twitch.

I just listened to the footsteps, noting that they fast-paced, but not really in a hurry. They were confident, and purposeful, fully capable of kicking ass, and ready to run at a moment's notice. They were strong footsteps, and they were loud. I listened as they grew closer to me, and I listened as they paused, and, strangely enough, seemed to hesitant for a moment, before I heard an electronical beep. I heard some muffled and murmured voices, like from a phone, before there was another beep.

The foot steps then continued in their stride, but slower, softer, quieter this time.

I felt someone knelt down next to me.

I still didn't move.

Then the someone reached out with a gloved hand and gently shook me.

I sighed, faintly annoyed, but I uncurled and looked at the person with dulled eyes, wondering what it was that they wanted from me. I didn't even have my pistol...I think I dropped in Udina's office, before I ran out. I don't really recall.

My dulled eyes suddenly widened in surprise when they saw that the person was _Shepard._

_What?_

I quickly sat up, looking shocked.

"What are you doing here?" I croaked, and then coughed. Shit – this is why I _hate_ crying! "I thought you and your team would be gone by now," I finished softly.

"We were worried about you," Admitted Shepard, as she sat down next to me. She smiled at my stunned look. "We searched for you after showing the Council the evidence, but we couldn't find you anywhere. Until now, I guess," she amended. "I just called off the search."

_Because you found me._

"Oh..." I bit my lip. "But...you gotta go stop Saren, not worrying about some girl," I pointed out, lightly scolding her, because I'm _me_. "You _know_ he's up to something, right? The recording hinted as such."

Shepard nodded, just looking at me. That's when I belatedly realized that her hair wasn't up in that tight pony-tail she favored, and her brown locks fell around her shoulders with a slight wave in them – it made her look softer, less tomboy-ish. Although, it didn't escape my notice that it seemed a little ruffled, like she had ran her hands through it several times.

"Yeah, I know," she said quietly, but smiled. "And I'm not worrying about _'some girl'_ – I'm worrying about a teammate."

...I think my brain just died in shock.

"What?" I blinked. "But, I'm not military yet!" I don't remember signing any papers!

She smiled. "Anderson and Udina fixed that. You're now Serviceman Late, part of the _SSV Normandy's_ crew, and a part of my team."

I reared back in shock, gaping. I nearly fell backwards. "But-what? Why?"

"Why?" she asked mildly, and then started to list _reasons!_ What the fuck? "Well, for one thing, you have a lot of potential. Even Williams agreed that you're a good shot, and, quite frankly, you shocked us all when you managed to down a krogan by yourself – and yes, I was watching," She added at my surprised look. "You also seem to have your heart in the right place. You can think on your feet, and although you're a little headstrong, I think you're a good kid."

"Headstrong?" I repeated, bemused.

She nodded. "Oh, yes. _Definitely_," she stressed.

"Whatever gave you that impression?" I asked, honestly confused. "I've been told that I'm _devious_, but headstrong? That sounds a bit farfetched to me."

"You want an example?" I nodded. "Garrus told me that you slapped an armed thug at Dr. Michel's clinic – _without_ thinking!"

"Hey!" I protested, annoyed. "I did _too_ think!"

_And Garrus saw that? Crap..._

"Oh?" She asked lightly, raising her brows.

"Yeah!"

"What were you thinking, then?"

"I was thinking he was a bloody wanker!" I said vehemently, scowling. "I am _not_ sweet, god _damn_ the man! I am mean, vicious, and evil, not_ sweet!" _I spat, glaring, looking highly offended.

Shepard stared at me, and then snorted. And then she started to _laugh_ at me!

Oh, that _bitch!_

I scowled at her.

"Haha! You're right, you _aren't_ headstrong," Before I could look smug, she added, "You're hot-headed!"

I gaped at her.

"I am_ not! _I'll have you know that my friends think that...I'm...very..." I trailed off, remembering times whenever I've snapped and started arguing with people, all because they said the _wrong_ thing to my face. "Cool-headed. _Oh_..."

I stared at Shepard thoughtfully. "Never realized that before. Interesting..."

Before I could start poking and investing at this new trait of mine that I've discovered, Shepard lightly bumped shoulders with me, startling me.

"Feeling better now?"

I paused, and was surprised to note that, yeah, I _am_ feeling better.

_And now that my head is cleared of the utter __**nonsense**__,_ I thought, frowning lightly, _I wonder who murdered this version of my family? And what for?_

I should do some poking around later...

"Yeah..." I finally said, hesitantly. She nodded and stood up, and put her hair back up into a tight pony tail.

_Ha. I guess having her hair down was driving her nuts. That's the total opposite of me, since I like having my hair down_ –

I jumped when she held out a hand to me, and I stared at it with something akin to _panic_ in my eyes.

I quickly shook my head. "No, no, no! That's okay, I can get up by myself!"

She raised her brows at me, but didn't take her hand away.

We stared at each other, both too damn stubborn to do anything – and_ damn it!_ Of all of the traits that she had to share with me, it _had_ to be my stubbornness!

Why was this a bad thing? Because, while I'm naturally more stubborn than everyone back home, Commander Jane Shepard was _just as_ stubborn as I was, and it made the little girl in me falter, because I've never met anyone that was as stubborn as I was –

Expect for my mother.

I sighed, and, reluctantly I lifted my hand. My hand hesitated a bit above her open palm, and I bit my lip. I've never trusted anyone enough to pull me up when I was down – and _that_ had far too many psychological meanings attached to it for my own comfort – hell, I never trusted my classmates when we had to do trust exercises in PE, and that was back in _elementary_ school.

I just...don't trust people that well.

I looked up at Shepard, looking for some kind of reassurance. She looked back with a clam, patient expression. She smiled lightly at me, and nodded in encouragement, sensing that this was _actually_ really hard for me, and that I wasn't just doing this to be an ass.

I took a deep breath, shut my eyes tightly, and then I quickly grabbed her hand before I could chicken out.

I only had a few seconds to register that she had a bigger and more slender hand than I did, when she suddenly pulled me _up_. I squeaked as I felt the odd sensation of _not_-_falling_, and then I lightly bumped into the commander.

And that was it.

My eyes flew open, surprised. "I didn't fall!" I gasped, totally stunned, and I stumbled back a few steps.

Shepard raised a brow, frowning at me lightly.

"Of course not. I wasn't going to let you fall," She tilted her head to the side, considering me. "You thought I was, wasn't you?"

I stared at her.

"Erm," I said weakly, and looked away. "_Noooo_," I denied, and agitatedly tugged at my hair.

"Liar," Shepard simply stated.

"Yep," I didn't even bother with denying that, because I _am_ a liar. "Whacha gonna do about it?" I challenged, hoping to distract her.

I should've known better – this is _Shepard_.

She hummed in thought, lightly tapping a finger against her chin.

Then she smiled.

It was a nice smile.

"I'm going to make you trust me," she declared, and I blinked at her.

What? I...she...

Gah.

"...oh..._kay_," I shrugged, looking uncomfortable. Note how I didn't protest against it. "Whatever. Can we go now? I want to see this ship I'm supposedly assigned too."

Shepard smiled, nodding. "Okay."

"_Okay."_

I think that's her favorite word, what do you think? Pretty weird, if that's true. They're better words out there, you know.

But, strangely enough, I think it fits.

So, I smiled back and said, "Okay."

* * *

As we walked over to C-Sec, I glanced up at Shepard, looking thoughtful.

I thought back to what happened five minutes ago, and I've come to a decision, one that I don't think I'll regret, even when she dies later.

Shyly, I tugged on her hand. She looked down at me, questioningly.

"What?"

"When are you going to give me those lessons on omni-tool use?" I asked, smiling.

Shepard grinned warmly at me. "Right now, if you want. Here, let me see your omni-tool. We need to get a password on it, and give it some anti-virus protection, too, because you'll be using the extranet, right? Of _course_ you are, you're a teenager, even if you've never had a omni-tool before. Okay, see, this is the control panel, here is where you need to..."

I listened closely to what she told me, following her every word, and I smiled to myself.

_I think, after ten years, I've finally found a mother figure..._

* * *

"Are you okay?" Anderson questioned, actually looking worried.

See? _He's_ a sweetheart! _I'm_ not, damn it! Get it straight!

_Hiss!_

I blinked at him. I glanced at Shepard, and then I smiled brilliantly at Anderson.

"I'm wonderful!" I cheered, and then I hugged him. "Sorry for the freak out, Uncle Davy!"

Yes. Yes, I _did_ just call him that.

Why the hell not, right? He was apparently friends with my (not)Dad once, so why not?

Always liked the man ever since he punched Udina during my play through. That had won him some _major_ Awesome Points from me.

"Uncle Davy?" Anderson mumbled, looking bemused as I pulled away.

I cheerfully nodded, still smiling. "Yep! And you aren't getting out of the nickname! I am claiming you as family from this day forth!"

I paused, and then I roughly poked him. "And _no_, you don't get any say in this! My word is law! Fear me!"

Laughing, I ran on to to _Normandy_.

I _love_ my life.

* * *

**[Brief Interlude]**

Anderson rubbed his chest, where the girl had poked him, looking only mildly pained.

"Well, she's awfully happy," He murmured, and glanced at Shepard, who looked amused. He smiled. "You better watch after her, commander. And I don't just mean the _Normandy._"

The brunette gave him a startled look. "Sir?"

He nodded his head to where the teenager had disappeared.

"That girl just suffered through a great loss, Shepard. She's going to need a lot of help. Not only did she loose her mother, but now she's lost her father and brother, as well as her sister-in-law. She may be smiling and laughing right now, but I bet she's a wreck underneath all of that. There's also the possibly that the killer may be after her now, too."

Shepard nodded, looking at him solemnly.

"Are there any suspects yet?" She asked softly.

He sighed heavily, and shook his head. "None. Steven didn't have any enemies, and was actually well-liked by everyone on their colony. Her brother lived a quiet life with his wife, who also lived low-key, working in a department store. Tiana herself didn't have any enemies, either, even though she had very few friends. I just don't understand it. There aren't any clues, either, no DNA, no fingerprints, not even a single hair. Nothing."

Shepard hated asking this, but she had to be sure, "What's her alibi in all this?"

"During the time of the murder, she was visiting a local military base, going on a tour with her classmates. She was within sight of the teachers and officers at all times, and never left the company of her friends. Her visit was also documented by the security cameras. She didn't even use the bathroom. She had no part in the murder. Poor girl was devastated when she came home that day."

Shepard flinched, eyes darkening as she remembered Mindoir, remembering the slain bodies of her parents.

She could sympathize with the girl.

"How did she end up on the Citadel?"

Anderson sighed. "She ran away from home, Shepard. I assume she came here to start over."

There was silence for a moment. Then, out of no where, Tiana Late herself rushed out of the _Normandy, _looking frazzled.

She ran passed Shepard and Anderson, the later managing to shout out, "Where's the fire?"

"I forgot my shit at the clinic! God, I'm so_ stupid!"_ The girl shouted back, and nearly hit the elevator door face first, since it didn't open fast enough for her as she ran.

She paused, and then whirled around to give Shepard a massive scowl. "Not. A. _Word!_" She bit out, and then jumped into the elevator.

And then she was gone.

Shepard laughed, and shook her head. She looked up at Anderson, and although she was smiling, the older man could see the seriousness in her eyes as she spoke the eight words that assured him that Steven's daughter would be in good hands.

"Don't worry, sir. I'll watch out for her," She promised him. She glanced at the _Normandy_, and her eyes sparkled. "_Both_ of them," she amended.

**[End Interlude]**

* * *

"Oh my _God_, thank you _so_ much!" I babbled to Dr. Michel, and I hugged her. She kept my stuff safe for me.

I bloody _love_ her!

My bags are all I have left of home, and I'm going to be really protective of them for as long as I have them.

The doctor laughed, patting me on the back. "It was no trouble. Although, I do have to wonder what it is you have in them; They weigh a ton!"

_Yeah, I noticed that she moved them._

I laughed nervously and pulled away, smiling sheepishly at her.

"Oh, sure. Most of it are antiques from Earth."

She blinked. "Oh?"

I nodded, smiling. "I love collecting old things, especially books – but only the ones that are in good condition!" I lied, winking.

There.

That sounds plausible, right?

Right.

* * *

Before I could go down into Storage and find myself a box to hide in ( – _...yes, I'm planing on living in a box. Shut up. Don't act like you've never wanted too as a kid!_ – ), Shepard stopped me and asked me to come with her to the comm room, for a mission debriefing, because 'they had gotten caught up in the action and forgot' or something, and that she needed to debrief Wrex, Tali, and Garrus too, since they didn't know _all_ of the details either – just pieces. Big pieces, sure, but just pieces.

Shepard does not like gaps in knowledge.

I admit, at first I just stared at her in a 'what?' manner, because, _dude_, I already _know_ the mission – I may be slow in the head sometimes, but I'm not _stupid –_ but then my brain caught up with me and pointed out that _she_ doesn't know that!

Duh.

"Okay!" I smiled. But paused. "Do you guys have any empty storage boxes? A big one?"

Shepard blinked at me. "I...don't know. Why?"

"Because I want to live in one!" I told her like it was obvious.

She stared at me, but shook her head. "You're very strange."

"Thank you! You're pretty awesome yourself! Now, onwards to the comm room!"

I was about to head over to where I _thought_ the comm room was, but apparently, I was mistaken, because Shepard stopped me again.

She pointed in the _opposite_ direction. "This way, Serviceman."

I blinked, and I silently went 'oh', eyes wide in surprise.

Wow...I feel so smart now.

_Not_.


	3. Medicated and Blindfolded

**AUTHOR'S NOTE – READ IT OR EAT IT! **

**DON'T THINK I WON'T SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT! **

Hello! I'm going to change the summary of this story, because, haha, in case you haven't noticed, I failed at my summary, and at first I didn't really care, but now it's bothering me (figures, right?), so I'll be changing that – soon. After careful thought and planning, anyway.

Also, I've belatedly realized that this story is going to be _**LONG**_ as hell and slow(ish), because I just reviewed my notes and plans, and I realized how _immense_ it's going to be, because I have this thing about slow stories, with subtle (and not so subtle) (come on, this is _me_ we're talking about here) hints and clues hidden in with the humor and dramatized events, and in some of the conversations, since I tend to enjoy writing those the most – I feel funny _and_ clever.

From the responses I'm getting, I don't _think_ that will be a problem for most of you (all of you seem to get a kick out of my fanfic!Self's monologues and ranting), but I'm aware that some people don't really like that too much (they want a _lot_ of action and explosions and badass scenes – they want their blood to pump!), so I decided to give everyone a heads up, so that no one can say that I didn't give any warnings.

Please enjoy,

GentlyConfused.

**PS: I don't own Mass Effect or anything aside from my own soul. **

**So there.**

**

* * *

**

Chapter 3 – I going to be medicated and blindfolded – and still kick ass.

* * *

I resisted the urge to yawn as I left the comm room, and instead made sure that I looked troubled and introspective, since that was my reaction the first time around; quickly thinking of all of the possibilities and different angles, trying to connect the pieces together and trying to see the picture – I even went as far as to putting myself into Saren's shoes, trying to get into his head to try and figure out his motives, and later doing the same with Benezia, and then Sovereign.

What can I say, I love my mysteries. Or hate them, since I've been know to scream profanities at my computer screen when something _else_ popped up.

Ha. That's my reaction with pop-ups, too.

And Gah. It's a damn good thing that I'm used to being a faker and a liar, because I used to pretend to be a totally different person ( – _an innocent, dense, clumsy, fool that didn't even know what sex was. Ha! People should have known that something was up from the moment I said 'innocent' _– ) for years until I hit high school. Then I was like "Ooo! New victims!", and dropped my mask and started to cause chaos for a whole year, and then I calmed down and became somewhat mellow – until someone pissed me off and I hissed at them, anyway.

Ah, the life and times of Tiana Late.

Never a dull moment.

Anyway, it's a good thing I have experience with faking different emotions. True, it's been a couple of years since I've had to go "undercover", but it's like riding a bicycle (I never even _rode_ one! Stupid gravity made my pink bike fall over too many times, so I gave up), you never forget.

Hm. Maybe I should have said "It's like getting bitten in kindergarten – you never forget!", because that certainly applies to me, unlike that stupid bike.

And yes, I'm still pissed off about that biting thing.

I hold grudges. Oh, _sure_, I'll _forgive_, but I'll never _forget_.

_Ever_.

"Hey, Late?" Ashley stopped me before I could leave and go hunt down my box ( – _because there __**has**__ to be a box somewhere!_ – ).

_Gah! It's a freaking conspiracy, I'm telling you! They want the box for themselves! Bastards!_

I mentally, and causally, punched myself in the head.

_Shut up! _I hissed in my head.

"Yes, Miss Williams?" I inquired politely. I have people skills.

I just don't use them with idiots.

That should be my new slogan! It's cool!

"You okay? You look worried." Ashley informed me, acting, strangely, like my big brother would if something was wrong.

Freaky. Do all older siblings have that look or something?

Hm.

"Yeah, I'm cool. Just thinking – I told Shepard that I'm still on the mission. You were _there_," I pointed out, giving her a funny look.

She rolled her eyes, and I winced when she punched me in the arm. Fucking_ ow!_

"Don't be a brat – " I _wasn't_, you, you punching-person! Ah! "You just look concerned."

_Well, **yeah! **You just **hit** me! Anyone would be concerned about that!_

I blinked, thinking, and then I inwardly rolled my eyes.

God, I'm stupid.

I forgot that I'm still in "undercover mode", since I still think the same on the inside.

I smiled reassuringly at Ashley. "I'm okay, Miss Williams. I'm just thinking. I do that a lot."

She walked with me to the mess hall.

_She will not have the box!_

_Shut **UP!** That's not why I'm going to the mess, you moron! And you know it! I'm hungry!_

_But...box?_

_Later! Stupid inner voice! Die! Die with my fucking ADD and leave me alone!_

"What are you thinking about?" Ashley questioned.

_You don't want to know. _

For once, me and my inner voice were in agreement.

"Oh, a lot of things," I shrugged. I yawned, and shook my head. "Let's see. One thing I'm thinking about are the Reapers. Their name is bugging me. Reapers are commonly known for being bringers of death, like grims or owls." I frowned. (– _Mom and Dad saw a huge owl on Mom's car once. Weeks later, Mom finally died _– ) I shook my head. "A lot of people fear them because of that, because they fear death. The end of their existence. Death cancels out life, just like life cancels out death. It's a balance. It's _nature_. But these things, these beings that were called Reapers, something about them seems off. Something doesn't fit."

"Oh?" Ashley looked bemused, but also seemed genuinely interested, which threw me.

_Only Addy or Bubba are interested in what I say_, I mused.

I continued.

"Yeah, see; Tali said they wiped out the Protheans. They committed genocide of an entire _race_. All at once. That isn't balance and that _isn't_ nature. That's murder. So, what I want to know is, what was their motive? Why did they take out an entire species? What is their _reason_?" I stressed, looking annoyed. I still haven't quite figured that one out yet. "And why would Saren and Benezia try to bring them back? They may be villains, but they can't possibly be that stupid! What is the purpose in this? What is their logic?"

And that's all true. I _was_ thinking that when I played Mass Effect the first time.

"You _do_ think too much," Ashley said, but she said it like it was a statement. Just a simple fact, and not weird. It was mind boggling. "But I think that's a good thing. It's better to think than to just act. A lot people get killed like that," She pointed out, ever the soldier girl.

I gave her a smug look. "See! I _told_ Shepard I wasn't hot-headed!" I paused. "Okay, maybe a _little_, but I'm a _thinking_ hot-head!"

"What?"

"Nothing!"

* * *

I got my box! Wee!

I'm stealing Wrex's covers! Wee –

"Pipsqueak. What are you doing?" Wrex rumbled, causing me squeak and jump about a mile up in the air. Where the hell did _he_ come from?

Shit! Abort! Abort! Abort!

"Nothing!" I squeaked, dropping the covers like they were diseased and backing away. "Nothing at all!"

He didn't look convinced.

Damn.

I pouted, but I fessed up. "I was stealing your covers."

"Why?"

"Because...of the risk? I don't know! It sounded like a fun idea at the time!" I blushed, sheepishly laughing. "Yeah, I'm going to go hide in my box now. I'll stop pestering you...uh, love you, Wrexy-Baby!"

And yes, I threw that last bit in just to throw him off, so that I could safely run away.

I'm clever like that.

Before he could say (or _do_) anything, I scurried to the other side of the room, giggling (that _was_ actually fun!), over to where my box was. It was right next to Seth's spot (Seth is the Requisitions Officer), so we were neighbors. Seth was also the one to find me a nice, sturdy, steel box that was big enough for two people – or, for someone to sleep in.

It was perfect.

Plus, I can do _this_;

I sped up and then jumped into the box, the blankets and pillows cushioning my fall.

It was _cool_.

What _wasn't_ cool was the fact that the box fell over this time, because I landed too hard and hit the wall of the box with my body. With a strangled squeal of surprise, I then got trapped between the wall and the inside of my box, since my box wasn't pressed up against the wall.

Not. Cool!

"Fuck!" I kicked the roof of my box, looking annoyed. I rose my voice, "Uh, hey? A little help here?"

…

"Please? I'll be good!"

_That_ was a lie; I'm never good.

Seriously, if this wasn't a thick steel box (and thus _heavy_), I'd just get out by myself, but, eh, I may be able to give one hell of a punch, but I can't move _steel boxes._

I have no muscles.

* * *

Thirty minutes later, Wrex finally got tried of my whining and let me out.

I instantly hugged the big guy, looking relieved.

"OMG! I LOVE YOU!" I snuggled him, sniffling. "I promise I won't steal your covers _ever again_, because that was karma kicking my ass right there!"

"Stop _touching_ me," He grumbled, and shoved me off him. He glared at me.

I just looked at him with teary eyes. I sniffled again, and rubbed my face.

What? I was fucking _scared!_ I have the fucking _right_ to cry if I want too – _now_, anyway.

Which just figures, doesn't it? Geez... I _swear_, my rules are constantly changing on me.

Annoying little buggers. Rules shouldn't _change_ themselves like that!

Wrex snorted, and walked away, grumbling about weakling pipsqueaks wasting his time, or something, distracting me from my thoughts.

I glared at his back.

_Insensitive bastard! _I mentally raged.

And where the _hell_ are Garrus and Ashley? Seth, I know is up in the sleeping pods ( – _hence why I'm sleeping in a box. No way in __**hell**__ am I sleeping in those things!_ – ), but where are my teammates? The nicer ones!

And yes, that was a parting shot at Wrex.

_Mister Tough Guy, **indeed**. I should've bitten you when I had the chance! See who's tough **then!**_

...probably still Wrex.

Damn!

It sucks being short. I mean, my head barely reaches to Shepard's shoulders, more or less, so I'm a freaking midget compared to Wrex!

It's annoying. I blink, get stuck in a fucking _game_ – which _isn't_ a game anymore, that much is clear – and I'm _still_ short!

It's not fair!

If it wasn't for the fact that my eyeballs need to blink, I'd swear off blinking for the rest of my life!

I sulked, and walked over to Engineering, forgetting about Ashley and Garrus.

I need to work on my 'Best Friends Forever' plan.

_Everyone needs a best friend, even manics like me._

_

* * *

_

"Wee!" I rolled down the ramp into Engineering, grinning like a loon.

That was fun! I didn't know we had a ramp here!

The engineers turned around to stare at me.

I got up and waved. "Hi! Tali here?"

I glanced around, and then I spotted her next to her usual spot...face palming?

I didn't know she did that.

Cool!

I must try to get that response from her as much as possible!

I waved excitedly at her, "Oh, hi Tali!" and then I went over to her.

_Run, Tali. Run while you still can!_

_Oh, **shut up!**_

Why do we have inner voices again?

Oh yes; _"to help us think in a calm and logical manner"_, or some shit, right?

I think mine's broken.

_That, or it's developed sentience and it's toying with me!_

...heh.

Damn. Now I'm thinking like Mordin.

_I'm not sure if I should be worried or ecstatic here._

_

* * *

_

"Ooo!" I awed, looking at the bright, swirly, light. "Pretty..."

Yes. I just now noticed the Tantalus Drive Core.

I'm slow like that.

Shut up.

"Seriously, how did they manage to squeeze that in here?" I asked Tali, because, well, she's _Tali!_ She knows everything about ships and stuff.

She's smart.

I'm not.

Simple as that.

* * *

While I was listening to Tali geek out over the _Normandy –_ looking only mildly lost as I did so – I was startled when Joker's voice came from the intercom system.

"_Hey, kid!"_

How much are you willing to bet that he's talking to me? I'm, like, the youngest person on this ship, I think. _  
_

"Uh...hello obnoxious voice coming from the ceiling?" I smirked.

Finally! I get to banter with Joker with my _own_ retorts! Hell yeah!

"_Haha. Very funny, squirt. Chief Williams, the Commander and the LT want to see you in the gym."_

We have a gym? Since when?

"Where is this gym you speak of, Obnoxious Voice?"

"_Eh. Engineer Adams can take you there."_

And that was that.

"How rude! He didn't even introduce himself!" I huffed, while cackling on the inside. I only spoke with him for less than thirty seconds, and I still had fun!

Yay! I should visit him sometime...Ooo! Maybe draw him a picture of the _Normandy! _He'd love that!

_But that would be a bitch to draw_, I mused. _Bubba's the one that can draw space ships, not me._

Oh, well. Worth a shot.

"That was Joker," Adams told me, smiling. "He's the pilot of this ship. I'm Engineer Adams,"

_Yes, I know – I'm a cheater like that._

He held out a hand to shake, and I shook it.

"Serviceman Late!" I beamed at him. "So you're going to take me to the gym?"

"Yes, ma'am." He nodded, and winked at me.

Cool! I don't think he ever winked in the game! I am constantly being surprised by these people.

I like it!

"Kay!" I turned back to Tali, who was being politely silent while we conversed, and I impulsively hugged her. "See ya, later, Tali!"

* * *

I blinked. "I get a uniform?"

Kaiden nodded, smiling slightly as he gave me the off-duty uniform that the officers wear.

It was spiffy.

"Where did you get my sizes from?" I asked them, bemused as I looked at the little tags.

"From the military base you toured. You signed mock-forums that enlisting soldiers fill in, remember? As a part of the experience?"

"Oh, yeah! I forgot..." (– _I didn't know_ –) I smiled awkwardly and hugged the uniform to me. "Thanks..."

How many other things do I not know?

I stared when Kaiden suddenly winced, and even Ashley looked pained. Shepard just gave him a _look_.

It was a simple look, but it said so much.

Huh? Oh! My (not)family was murdered that day, right?

...I don't know what to say about that.

"Sorry," Kaiden apologized, and I smiled softly.

_I'm not the one you should be apologizing, too, not really._ I told him silently, feeling faintly guilty. _But I'm the only one here, so I guess it's okay._

"It's alright," I murmured, and I gently pat him on the shoulder. "Death is death. Life is life. Nothing is the end. I learned that a long time ago." I told him solemnly, but gently.

It's pretty much my life's philosophy.

I suddenly smiled. "Now, where's the changing the room? I wanna go change into these clothes!" I whined, jumping in place like a kangaroo, looking energetic.

Yay for manic energy!

They stared at me with identical, unreadable, looks. The only thing I could pick up on them was shock or surprise, judging from the small hints I could see in their body language.

"What? What'd I say?" I asked, confused.

Shepard shook her head, smiling slightly. "The dressing rooms are this way, Late."

And then she took me to the changing room.

* * *

"I look spiffy!" I cheered, clapping my hands in delight as I looked in the mirror.

Oh, sure, it was a little unflattering, since I'm chubby and all, but I don't care overly much.

I love myself.

...now, anyway. I've grown a lot since I was that angst-ridden, whiny, selfish child.

I am a _woman_ now!

As I smugly headed for the door, I tripped over the air and face planted to the floor.

"Fuck!"

_Okay, okay! I'm a teenager! Damn!_

_

* * *

_

I sulked out of the changing room, scowling.

"Air is my enemy," I declared, moody. "And so is gravity. They're both bitches."

"What?" Shepard blinked. Kaiden and Ashley looked confused too.

"You heard me! They've been out to get me since I was a kid!" I ranted, but then changed the subject, seeing something glint in the light on the far side of the room.

"Ooo! Shiny!"

I rushed over there to see the shiny. To worship the shiny. To touch the shiny. To love the shiny –

"It's a bald guy!" I cried, looking extremely put out.

To be disappointed by the shiny.

Damn.

"What?" The guy, who was on the weights, looked at me like I was crazy.

_You have no idea._

"Nothing!"

And then I ran back to Shepard, because she's badass and she's not scared of a scary looking body-builder that has no hair.

Yep.

Of course, she chewed me out the moment I came back. Something about being distracted could kill me on the battle field, or something along those lines.

Meh.

I was tempted to tell her that I _can't_ be distracted in a fight _because_ there are shiny things to focus on in battle, but I didn't think she'd be too amused by that, so I just nodded and made myself look sheepish and cowed.

But _everyone_ knew that, on the inside, I was just sticking my tongue out at her in spite.

Well, the sharp ones did, anyway.

"You _do_ realize that I have ADD, right?" I finally pointed out, stopping her in mid-lecture.

She frowned. "Dr. Chakwas didn't mention anything about that."

"Of _course_ not; it's not on file. For one thing, my family greatly distrusts doctors (uh...distrusted), and we never go to them if something is up – my dad had to cut a corn infection off of the bottom of my foot without any anesthetic when it turned into a nasty a boil-hybrid-thing. It mostly tickled. I've had worse – anyway, normally, I'd say that I'd rather die than go to the doctor, but I'm beginning to have faith in the medical field." I shrugged, and then continued. "Also, my Dad didn't believe me when I said that I have ADD, so I've never gotten any medication."

"Why didn't he believe you?" Kaiden questioned.

"Because I read," I said simply, my expression darkening. "He said that 'he always sees me reading' when he stopped by my room to check on me. But he didn't stick around for longer than a minute, if not less. If he stuck around, he'd see me I get restless and bored. I'd walk around my house and do other projects, switching them around whenever I'd get disinterested in them, or lose focus or concentration. And then I'd go back to my room to read, and repeat later."

"I've also had issues focusing on my teachers, no matter how hard I tried to. I'd stare at nothing, draw, day dream, and once I've _stabbed_ (really _stabbed_) my hand, repeatedly, for entertainment value with my pencil, because there wasn't anything else to do – and yeah, math class drove me nuts," I said sheepishly at their horrified looks, ruefully rubbing at my left hand as I remembered that day. It didn't hurt, no matter how much force I'd put into. It was morbidly fascinating at the time. "My brother said that I needed to be careful, since there's a lot of inherited mental illnesses in the family – he shares my ADD, bipolar and depression problems, but he's more mellow than I am. Must be age, and the fact that he settled down with a cute redhead." I commented, somewhat amused.

I continued with my story.

"But despite all of that, Dad still didn't believe me. But that's okay. He was an insensitive jerk anyway, so I understand. So, I never got to be home schooled, and I was struggling in the school. Sure, my grades improved this year, but do you have any _idea_ how hard it is to fight against your nature like that? Without medication? Really fucking hard; I wouldn't recommend it if you're the type that doesn't have patience." I paused. "And that is such an oxymoron. Okay, if you aren't _stubborn_," I corrected.

Shepard, Ashley and Kaiden had various looks of concern. They were probably worried by how this would affect me during fights.

Ha, as if!

I smiled at them.

"Don't worry, I've got my ADD in control. Kind of. I slip up sometimes, but, hey, I'm only human. Besides, you've seen me in combat a few times now, right? Did I screw up at any of those times?"

They had to admit that, no I didn't.

"So, there you go! I only have a mild case of ADD, anyway, just like with my bipolar disorder. It's just mild. It hampers me, but it doesn't _disable_ me." I said dismissively, rolling my eyes.

_I'm only **mildly** crazy!_

_That's assuring,_ I thought dryly.

"I think you need to go have that medical interview with Chakwas," Shepard said thoughtfully. "This stuff should be on your file."

I sighed. "Do I _have_ to?" I whined.

"Yes, you have to," She said sternly. "She might even have something that can help you!"

I sulked, but admitted defeat.

Damn.

"Okay. Now?"

"_Now_."

Huh.

I think she's alarmed.

Oops.

And wasn't I supposed to be training? I figured that's why they called me to the _gym_, after all...

"I'm serious about being okay, though! I swear I'm sane, I just have issues! Issues with tissues!" I added, but shook my head and looked at them worriedly. "I'm not about to go bat shit insane here; I haven't in ten years, and I haven't after – " I stumbled. " – after my family..._died_. I hurt, but I'm okay. I move on, like always."

Shepard put a reassuring a hand on my shoulder. "We believe you, but we're just worried about you, okay? You need help."

I scowled. "But I don't – "

_Trust anyone with my problems._

Damn it!

I swallowed and warily stepped back from her, but reluctantly nodded.

Just to spite my instincts.

Because I'm a bitch like that.

"Okay." I said, because, well, what else can I say?

* * *

_Great. Now everyone is going to think I'm nuts_, I thought moodily Shepard frog-marched me to Chakwas's medical room.

I'm not crazy, am I? If I was, then this would all be some dream or hallucination, right? I doubt that, because it _feels_ real.

But, then again, who am I to define "real"?

I sighed.

I'm depressed. I know this and accept it. I move on.

I'm ADD. I know this and accept it. I move on.

I'm bipolar. I know this and accept it. I move on.

I'm a failure. I know this and accept it. I move on.

I'm in Mass Effect. I know this and accept it. I move on.

I'm an orphan here. I know this and accept it. I move on.

If _I_ can accept the hard truths of reality, and not let them bother me (too much), then why can't everyone else?

It's weird.

It's not like my depression can hold me back anymore – like I said, I'm not that stupid little girl anymore. My ADD is what makes me interesting and fun to be around, and I admit, my bipolar-ness can be annoying as hell, but I'm not as bad some other people – I'm not like: OMG! HAPPY! DEPRESSED! EMO! EMO! **ENRAGED! **GRR! SAD! AMUSED _PISSED OFF! _SAD! BOOHOO! HAPPINESS AND **CHEER! **I'LL KILL YOU ALL!

I'm not _psychotic_, okay? I just go 'Oh, I'm sad' or 'Wee! I'm so happy! I love everyone! Hugs!', or 'You're a jerk and I don't like you! I hope you die!' and the rest of the time I'm normal.

...mildly normal. Because, seriously, who the hell wants to be _normal?_

The crazy people, that's who.

So ha! I'm not crazy!

I just have issues.

And that's it. End of story.

So you can _stop_ looking at me like I'm going to explode or break, okay?

Or you can just kiss my ass.

So there.

And if I was alone right now, I'd stick my nose up at you.

...and, _no!_ I won't be stabbing myself with a pencil again! _God!_

I realize that's a bit much, so I've already programed my brain to scream at me if I even _try_.

It's a great deterrent, trust me. It's not worth the migraines.

I'm not _stupid_, okay? I know what's _wrong behavior_ and what's _not_, and stabbing myself with a freaking **pencil** is _wrong behavior_, especially since it's dangerous, too. If I hadn't put a stop to it, who _knows_ what that could've developed into? Cutting? Ow! I didn't even do that when I was a_ kid!_

Of course, I _thought_ about it, but I was smart, even if I _was_ unstable at the time, and realized that all that cutting would do is give me scars – _uncool_ and _unbadass_ scars, at that.

_So_ not worth it.

Besides, if I needed to "feel pain to feel alive", all I had to do was either bash my head against a wall or stare at my math homework, and I was all set!

And people say homework won't kill you.

Pah, I say, _pah! _

_

* * *

_

I stared at the two bottles that Chakwas gave me.

Antidepressants and antipsychotics; the former is for my depression and ADD, and the later is for my bipolar disorder, to stabilize my emotions. Medication here was still mostly the same as it is back home, but with less side effects, like grogginess and such. It's more effective, and longer lasting, and has added chemicals developed by salarians to target the things that causes the extremities of negative emotions in the brain, to lessen their affects, but it doesn't take anything away from a person's personality, blah, blah, blah – you get the picture.

However...

"_Am_ I crazy?" I asked a small voice. I didn't mind asking this question since Shepard left the room to check on Joker, and to do other commander-y things, to give me privacy.

I guess I looked uncomfortable with her there.

_Didn't mean, too..._

"Of course not!" Chakwas denied, and sat down next to me on the bed, temporarily abandoning her new paperwork on me to put a comforting arm around my shoulders.

I stared at her in surprise.

Seriously. Why'd she do that? I don't need any hugs or anything.

I'm just worried about my sanity.

Just a little, because I can have doubts.

I am merely mortal, after all.

But I smiled, relived.

Despite my internal protest, I leaned into her touch, because I _like_ being touched by other people – I'm just very affectionate, and I feel safe when I'm hugging someone, or holding their hands. It makes me happy.

"Good, I didn't _think_ so, but crazy people don't always know if they're nuts. It all seems very logical to them," I said, and pulled away from her.

I hopped off the bed and smiled at her.

"I'm going to go to the gym now. I should exercise. Thank you, Docs."

"No trouble, sweetheart."

My eye twitched, but I couldn't really shout at her.

She's _cool_, you know? Cool people have immunity.

"Oh, and when would you like to have that eye surgery? You never did answer me," She sternly looked at me. "You know that you can't keep your bad eyesight if you're in the military, it could be a huge liability and could get someone killed!"

I flinched, but smiled sheepishly.

"Um...right now, I guess?" I squeaked. I laughed. "Might as well get it out of the way, right?"

I'm doomed.

* * *

I survived.

And I'm blind –

Haha. Just kidding. But seriously, I have bandages covering my eyes now, since my eyes need to heal. Once they've recovered (two weeks from now), I'll be wearing sunglasses for about a week, maybe less if I'm lucky, and then I'll have perfect eyesight – without contacts, because I _hate_ contacts.

Yay.

Chakwas put a slightly deep scratch on the bottle of my antidepressants, so that I could feel for it and know that it wasn't my antipsychotics.

Now, I'm going to patiently wait for Kaiden to come get me and escort me back to my box. Then, I'll ask him to move my box to it's side so that I can crawl into it.

Wrex just flipped it over upright, like it was before.

That reminds me –

I need to try to steal his covers again, when I can see again, just for shits and giggles.

What? He didn't kill me last time, and he didn't threaten me, either. As far as I'm concerned, that means he doesn't mind.

_Muhahaha!_

_

* * *

_

Kaiden tells me that once my eyes heal up, I'm going to start training.

Oh goody. I'm actually a little disappointed, but, well, I'm not really all that good with foresight, you know?

I sighed, and thought about today. I blinked ( _and that's all I did, I __swear!__Well, okay, I __breathed__, too, but...shit! Does that mean I __**breathed**__ wrong? Oh my God, that's just freaking __**sad**__ right there! _), and then I was in Mass Effect.

I've haggled with a volus and _won_, I got into gun fights, I've killed (_gah!_), I'm on medication now, I have an identity here and I'm an orphan (_screw the fact that I'm eighteen_), I'm a Serviceman (_why can't I be a Service__**woman?**__ I asked that, but they just laughed at me!_) on the _Normandy_, Shepard is my Shepard without being my Shepard (_ow_), I never did eat my lunch (_good thing it's just trail mix, dried banana chips, wheat thins, and canned coffee_), everyone agrees that I'm fucking awesome, and...

I'm going to pass out now.

Night, night.

_...and don't steal my soul tonight, bed-bugs!_

I frowned fuzzily at that, and then grunted and rolled over.

Yeah. I need to sleep. _Now_.

When I start babbling nonsense like that – _actual _nonsense, not rambling on, it's a pretty good sign that I'm exhausted.

* * *

_**First thing I did when I woke up, was spazz out, because I couldn't see: **_

Then my brain woke up.

I went "oh!", and then I proceeded attempting at make my 'bed', because, ha, why the hell not?

I love a challenge.

Besides, I needed to do something to get my mind off of my nightmares.

Meh...

_**Second thing I did was bump into Garrus:**_

"Whoa!"

_THUMP! _"My ass!"

"Sorry!"

"Fuck you, Garr-Bear, fuck you! Now help me up before I attempt at biting your _leg_ off – blindfolded!"

I am a very irate human.

"Garr-Bear?"

"Oh, shut up. I call Wrex, 'Wrexy-Baby',"

"And you're still alive?"

"Shut. _Up!"_

_**Third thing I did was take my medication:**_

Okay...okay...okay...I don't feel a scratch – _hup!_

Spoke too soon.

These are my antidepressants.

Yay.

Now where's my water? Here, water, water, water! Come to your doom!

_**My conclusion of the day?**_

Being blindfolded sucks ass!

* * *

I was sulking in the mess hall – room, whatever! – when I had a _brilliant_ idea.

I'll go visit Joker!

So I guilt tripped some moron into escorting me to the cockpit (because I'm bad like that – medication, or no medication).

Hm.

I know that I only took those pills a few minutes ago, and I _doubt_ that they're going to change my personalty any, because they're more advanced and all, but...I still sort of think that they'll seriously fuck with my personality and energy level, because I've heard of that happening to others back home. But it _shouldn't_ do that, because it's different from the stuff at home.

They'll just make me more stable.

Which would be _awesome!_

_Ooo! I'll still be silly and mean! Just less distracted and depressed!_

Yay!

That sounds like fun!

Wee!

Why didn't I ever take medication before this? Advanced or not?

...oh, yeah, because doctors are evil and they want to kill me.

But I know that Chakwas is a _good_ doctor, like Dr. McCoy from Star Trek, because I talked to her a lot in the games, and I _know_ her. I like Dr. Michel, too, but, well, I don't know her all that well.

_I wonder if that means I trust Chakwas?_ I mused. _Maybe a little?_

I'd have to, since I let her do _surgery_ on me.

Yikes.

A sudden thought occurred to me, and I mentally stared at the man that was leading me to the cockpit.

"Uh, hey, are you bald?" I asked, worriedly.

"No. Why?"

"No reason!"

Thank God, that would've been _awkward!_

_

* * *

_

"Thank you!" I used my manners and thanked the man, shooing him off, before carefully walking into the cockpit.

I was quiet and slowly felt my way to Joker's chair. I mean, it's right in front of me somewhere, right?

Right.

Hm...

Ah ha! I feel a chair!

"Hey, is this Joker's seat?"

"Well, _yeah_, why – holy shit! What happened to _you?"_

"I got eye surgery," I said, smugly. "I look creepy, don't I?"

I've noticed that blindfolded people tend to make others very, very quiet and wide eyed, because it's unsettling or something.

Personally, I think it looks badass. I need to get some pictures of myself, later...

"Just a little," Joker admitted, and I felt the chair move, so I stepped back. "So, you're the brat?"

"So you're the Obnoxious Voice?" I returned innocently, but my smirk gave me away, I think.

"Hey, I'll have you know that the ladies like my voice!"

"And not your face?" I asked mildly.

He paused. "Okay, I walked into that one."

"Yep!" I nodded happily.

"What are you doing here, anyway?"

"I wanted to meet the Obnoxious Voice, since he sounded like he had a brain."

"And does he?"

"Maybe," I said in a sing-song voice, grinning. "He sounds like a smartass, anyway."

Joker laughed.

Ha – I think he likes me.

* * *

"Short stuff!"

"Knave!"

"Hag!"

"Geek!"

"Shorty!"

"Dickless!"

"Hey, that's going below the belt – literally!" Joker protested, interrupting our game.

I inwardly rolled my eyes.

I was lounging in Kaiden's seat (who hasn't arrived yet), and while I was talking to Joker (who somehow manages to banter and work at the same time – man has some skills), we ended up having an insult fest.

I honestly have no idea how we came about that.

It just happened.

"I don't play fair," I told him, smirking.

"I don't either, but I don't call you _boobless!"_

"Pifft," I snorted. "If you _did_, I wouldn't miss a beat. I'd keep going."

_But that's because I'm a D cup...or was it C? Crap, I forget. Point is, I have a decent chest size._

I suddenly grinned, wickedly, coming up with an _evil_ idea.

"Why, Joker, you sound _awfully_ _defensive_. Got something to share with the class?" I said in a mock-British accent.

"No," He denied, sounding like he was scowling. Haha! "Bitch!"

"Jerk!"

"Nerd!"

"What is going _on_ here?" I heard Shepard's voice, who sounded bewildered.

"Commander!" Joker greeted, acting he wasn't just bickering with a teenager.

"We're playing a game, Miss Sheppy!" Yes, I _went_ there. "Want to join us?"

Joker coughed to cover a laugh.

_I think I almost killed him with Shepard's new nickname._

Oops.

"No thank you, Serviceman," I heard Shepard smile. "Did you take your medication, yet?"

_She didn't protest against the name,_ I noted, smiling.

"Uh huh!" I happily nodded. "I did! I was good!" I added, defensively.

"You're on medication? What for?" Joker asked.

"I'm bipolar, ADD, and depressed!" I dutifully listed, smiling.

I had no reason to hide, do I?

"Oh? I knew you were nuts," Joker said lightly, unwittingly giving me an opening, so I went in for the kill.

"At least I'm not _dickless! _Ha!" I laughed at him, mockingly.

"Damn it!" He cursed.

_That's what he gets for thinking I'd be all weepy and shit!_

I _know_ that's what he was thinking!

"At least he never almost hit a wall while running," Shepard commented breezily, and I gaped.

_I **knew** it! Never living it down! Especially now that the court jester here knows about it! Fuck! I'm going to be hearing about this for **years!**_

Before Joker could mock me, however, Shepard asked him a question.

"What's the ETA for Therum, Joker?"

Huh? Oh – _duh_. Shepard must have narrowed down what planet Liara was on, and had Joker set a course for Therum while I was asleep, thus missing any announcements.

I sleep like the dead – that snores.

"Eh, five hours." He answered, after a small pause.

"Alright, then. Half an hour before arrival, could you page Wrex and Tali and tell them to suit up?"

"Sure!"

"Thank you, Joker. Tiana?"

I jumped at my name.

"What?" I asked, curious.

"Have you eaten breakfast yet?" She asked.

"Nooo...?" I drawled, questioningly. I wasn't hungry before.

"Come on, I'll take you to the mess." I felt her touch my shoulders, and I took that as my cue to get up.

As I got up, Joker playfully whined at us. "Hey, why doesn't anyone ever ask _me_ out to eat, huh?"

"Because you're a grown man and can take care of yourself, while I'm currently a blind girl?" I retorted, standing.

"Point." Before I could get smug, he bounced back with a; "Tell me, were you blindfolded when you almost hit that wall?"

"GRAH!"

Fear my incoherent yell of rage!

* * *

"Sounds like you and Joker are getting along," Shepard mused, and I laughed.

"Yeah! He's pretty cool! He's a bastard, but I'm bitchy myself, so we get along okay." I said, frankly.

"That's good," I heard another smile. I _love_ hearing a smile in a person's voice. It's cool. "How are you feeling?"

"Aside from not seeing shit? Pretty good! I'm surprised that I'm not loopy or whatever from the meds, but just...chipper. I'm still me."

"Did you think you wouldn't be?" She asked as we walked by CIC. I knew that we were there because I could hear Pressly talking with someone.

"I was only a little bit worried," I confessed. "But I logic-fried the fear into submission. Rawr."

She laughed, "Logic-fried?"

"Yep! I fried it with logic!"

Spock would be proud of me!

"So...Sheppy?" Shepard asked after a moment, sounding puzzled.

"Yep! Garrus is Garr-Bear, Wrex is Wrexy-Baby, and you're Miss Sheppy!

Shepard laughed. "Wrexy-Baby? And he hasn't killed you yet?"

"No! Why does everyone ask that? He's not _that_ scary. To me, anyway," I amended.

I'm just not really intimidated by that much, even if Wrex _is_ somewhat intimidating.

"What _does_ scare you?"

"Dogs," I said without hesitation.

"Dogs?"

"Yep." I nodded.

"Why are you scared of dogs?" She asked, bemused.

"Dunno. I guess it's because they're bigger than cats?" I tried.

"Wrex is bigger than cats," She pointed out.

"Wrex is bigger than _everyone_," I said dismissively. "Eh, it could be because I'm not used to them. I've always had cats as pets. I have a theory that if I get a puppy, and raise it, I probably won't be scared anymore. I've thought about this."

"Hm, that sounds reasonable." Shepard said thoughtfully. After a pause, "We're here."

Yay! Food! Crappy food, but still food.

* * *

At ETA, after we made sure that nothing was loose and couldn't fly away when the Mako was released (well, I was just there as moral support as everyone else did the work, since I couldn't see – and _no_, I wasn't sulking!), I waved goodbye to the shore party as they left (after Ashley helped me aline correctly).

"Bye! Have fun! Don't blow anything up!" I yelled, grinning.

Heh. I'm so _mean_...

Wrex gave me a rude hand sign. (Or so said Garrus)

I laughed, but didn't do anything about it.

For all I know, Garrus could be trying to trick me, you know?

I'm paranoid.

_And I still need to paint his amour pink. __But I'm __**blind**__..._

That just isn't right.

* * *

"So, what are we going to do now?" I asked, sitting on top of my box, where I can't bump into anything.

Garrus was worshiping his rifle somewhere next to me on the ground, deciding to keep the blind human company.

He can be nice.

But I still say that he's an ass.

"_I'm_ going to clean my rifle. I don't know about you, though," He said, and I _knew_ he was smirking – I could hear it!

If I could glare...

"Oh, I know what I'll be doing," I said in a light, innocent tone.

"...what?" He dreaded to ask.

"Nothing," I said in a sing-song voice, smiling.

"No, seriously. What?"

"Nothing," I giggled. This is fun.

"Tiana," He warned, actually sounding worried.

"Nothing!" I repeated, grinning.

_I'm making you squirm,_ I thought at him, smugly.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again;

I'm _evil!_


	4. Two Weeks

**AUTHOR'S NOTE – READ IT OR EAT IT! **

**DON'T THINK I WON'T SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT! **

Oh. My. _GOD!_

This chapter has 35 pages, 12,426 words, 64,888 characters, and is 43 KB big. _[EDIT: Could be more now, since I just corrected some things]_

I think I broke my brain reading those numbers – did it break yours, too?

Crap! I had fun, though! XD

Um, let's see...

**Alb3l-N0x**: Hi! So you're my stalker, now? Cool! Always wanted one. Hm, so that I can be politically correct when referring to you, what's your gender? I don't want to accidentally offend you by calling you a guy when you're a chick, or a girl when you're a dude. I don't want to be hit by my new stalker, mmkay? (Grin)

And yeah, it takes me about...oh, I don't know. Three hours (max) to write each chapter, and then I go work on the next chapter, _and_ the next chapter, and then I check over my previous chapters, submit it, and then go back to work.

As I've told Herr Wozzeck, I have no social life. :3

Also – no! Putting it in a trilogy will break my brain, because then I'll have to decide where to stop for different parts, and that would _suck_. I need my brain to write, kay?

**Intress**: If you're still here (oops), you _**READ**_ my story on a _phone? _Holy crap! Sorry for your eyes, but I'm glad that you enjoyed yourself. And nope, you can't trade places with me – my spot! Get your own! (Laughs), and you don't sound crazy – I talk like that sometimes, I do. Big fan of Master Yoda, I am! XD

Star Wars geek? Me? Nooo! _Never! _(Shifty Eyed)

Please enjoy,

GentlyConfused.

**PS: I don't own Mass Effect or anything aside from my own soul. **

**So there.**

**

* * *

**

Chapter 4 – Two weeks of darkness, and a lot of hijinks and laughter.

* * *

Garrus is ignoring me now.

I pouted.

That's not fun.

But, fine. I'll be quiet, too.

Don't give me that look – yeah, I'm talking to you! I may be blindfolded, but I know when someone is giving me a doubtful look!

I am female, fear me!

But seriously, I can _too_ be quiet!

_Watch_ me!

* * *

I'm still quiet.

Haha.

* * *

Not saying a word.

* * *

Nope.

* * *

Nothing!

* * *

Still nothing.

* * *

I'm amazed that you're still here, but no, I'm still not saying anything.

* * *

Not. A. _Word_.

* * *

Zip.

* * *

Nada.

* * *

...Silence.

* * *

...

_Twitch_.

* * *

"GRAH!" I finally snapped.

"Ah!" Garrus yelled, and I heard some crashing noises.

Pause.

"What was _that?"_ He questioned, incredulous.

"Me trying to be quiet. It backfired." I answered, simply. After a beat, "Are you talking to me now?" I sounded so _hopeful_ right there.

"If it keeps you from doing _that_ again, then yes!"

"Yay!" I clapped.

"What was that?" I heard Ashley shout out. Oh, yeah, my 'grah' sort of echoed in here, didn't it?

My bad.

"That was me!" I yelled back. "It's all cool over here though, no worries! Nothing broke!"

"Says _you_," Garrus grumbled, and I, at least, had the grace to blush this time.

"Er...sorry?"

I have erred.

* * *

I listened with half an ear as Garrus ranted to me about his poor, innocent rifle. I was more busy thinking about my medication.

_Plus, I don't really __**care**__ about his rifle, _I added, mentally my eyes.

It's...odd. I'm still me, like I said to Shepard, and I'm still weird, spazzy and mean, but...calmer? I mean, I haven't cussed anyone out today (seriously, anyway – yet. Because, yeah, Miss Sheppy is right, I _am_ a bit of a hot-head) since I took my medication, nor have I been tapping my foot or biting my nails. I haven't heard from my internal voice either, or, if I _have_, I didn't really notice, since I don't remember.

It's kinda bizarre, actually.

_Is this how the average person's mind should be? _I wondered, frowning.

"What are you thinking about?"

Ah – Garrus is a sharp one. It only took him ten minutes to realize that I wasn't listening to him.

I'm impressed, really, I am. I applaud his observational skills.

...okay, yeah. Not really.

"My mind," I replied to his question, before I could stop myself. I groaned. "Didn't mean to say that aloud..." I grumbled, annoyed.

"Your mind?" Garrus echoed, sounding bemused. "What for?"

I debated with myself for a little bit, before deciding to..._trust_...him.

_Because I'm a bitch to my instincts._

"Has anyone told you that I'm going on medication now?" I questioned first, partly just because I wanted to know how in the dark he was, and partly because I was wondering if Chakwas, Shepard, Ashley, Kaiden and Joker had spread the news.

I paused at that. Huh. I guess I _don't_ trust them that much, after all.

_Damn you, instincts! I'm the bitch here, not you!_

Garrus sounded surprised, "No, no one has. What's the medication for? Your eyes?"

That made me sit up straighter, stunned.

Oh.

They didn't tell.

That's...nice. I honestly wouldn't have cared if they had told everyone, but the fact that they _didn't_...

I suddenly feel warm on the inside.

"No," I breathed, before shaking my head. "No, they're aren't. It's because I have mental issues."

"I could've told you that," He teased.

Ass.

"Haha, Garr-Bear. Ha. _Ha_." If I knew where he was, I'd kick him. I think this is the first time I've ever _really_ been insulted at being called crazy. "I'm serious. They know that I'm clinically depressed, have a bipolar disorder, and that I'm ADD. So, they've given me some meds to help keep it together."

Pause.

"What's a 'bipolar disorder' and 'ADD'?" He asked, calmly.

I gave him a Tia Answer; blunt and straight to the point.

"Bipolar disorder is basically where your emotions run wild and in circles, and ADD stands for 'Attention Deficit Disorder', where someone has issues concentrating. Do turians have something similar?" I asked, genuinely curious.

"Yeah, we do," I imagined that he nodded. He hesitated, "Is that...why you're thinking about your mind?"

"Uh huh. It's kinda weird. Not _bad_, just strange. It's the fact that I'm calmer, but still me, and _I_ _am_ _not_ a calm person. I'm a manic," I pointed out. "I love yelling and spitting out curses. I love being a pest, and I _love_ causing chaos and mayhem, just because it's funny. Sure, I have a conscience, but, for the most part, I don't really listen to it unless it's important. But, that's beside the point; my point is, I'm still me, but _calm_, and that's confusing me."

Thoughtful Pause.

"Maybe you're just a confusing person," Garrus guessed.

I mentally blinked, taken aback.

"What?"

I'm not sure if I should feel insulted or complimented by that.

"Well, think about it. You already admitted that you liked causing chaos, right?" I nodded. "Maybe this is just how your mind embodies that trait."

I paused, mulling that over. "That...actually makes sense," I decided.

"Of course it did – _I_ said it," He said smugly, and oh my _God! _I thought he didn't get a noticeable ego until ME2!

_Or maybe I just never paid him any attention until then,_ I thought, actually sad.

Garrus was actually a pretty good guy, you know? He's like the obnoxious brother I never had – Bubba's my nice, mildly annoying, understanding one.

But I _guess_ that Garrus also has the ability to be sensitive, too, since he just eased my mind and all, and I appreciate that.

However, I _really_ didn't like the arrogance in that sentence; if there's _one_ thing that pissed me off more than stupidity, it had to be arrogance, even if it's just a slightly big ego.

So I scowled, and said, "Hey, Garrus?"

I listened closely, straining my ears.

"Yeah?"

_Over there! _I thought victoriously, and I then kicked him.

"Ow!" I think I hit his shoulder.

"Stop being an arrogant ass!" I finished, smirking.

"I'm not!" He actually _whined_.

_Do_ badass turians with a future of being the Archangel whine?

Apparently so.

"Pifft! Yeah, _right_," I drawled, sarcasm dripping from my voice. "Pull the other one. It's got bells on it."

There was another pause, and, strangely, I felt some dread during this one. I got the feeling that I was going to regret that sentence.

_What is he __**thinking?**_ I wondered, resisting the urge to scoot back.

I'm not a coward, damn it!

"Oh? Really?" He mused, and then I felt a grip on my leg. I barely had time to think, furiously, _he's not – !_

He _did!_

He yanked on my leg and I fell to the floor, ass first.

_Again!_

Ow! My ass!

"GARRUS!" I shrieked, flabbergasted and enraged. I hope I burst his ear drums! "YOU ASSHOLE!"

"But you said – !" Haha! Did he actually _think_ he could pretend to be a _stupid_ turian? And get away with it?

Not bloody likely!

"ASS. _HOLE!"_

"Children! Behave!" Ashley yelled at us, and I heard a smirk in her voice.

"Ashley, stay _out_ of this! This is between me and the deformed Care Bear here!" I took a chance and flung myself to where I thought Garrus was.

"Oof! Get off!"

Ha. I have successfully landed in Garrus's lap.

Sadly, I am not a Garrus fangirl, so I took no pleasure in sitting in his bony-ass lap.

"Not until you apologize, jerk!" I slapped his chest plate, causing a loud CLANG that ended up hurting my hand, but _damned_ if I was letting him know that!

"You _kicked_ me!" He protested.

"_No_, your ego bit you in the _ass_, that's what happened! Apologize! I'm just a defenseless, blind human girl, and you pulled me off my _box!"_

My _box_, damn it!

"Ha! You're _blind_, I'll give you that, but you aren't _defenseless!" _He pushed me off and I squawked in indignation. I think I landed on some gun parts.

Oh, that's _it! _I'm gonna eat him _alive!_

"HISS!" I violently hissed, and then I lunged to where I last heard him.

Unfortunately, I didn't get to eat him, because this is _Garrus _we're talking about. He's basically a cop right now, and what do cops _love_ doing? It's the classic 'Grab Offender By Their Wrists, Twist Arms and Hold Them Against the Ground ' Maneuver.

And I _hated_ it with all of my being.

"Gah!" I, of course, squirmed, because, _hello_, there is no way I'd just sit there and _take_ it. Plus, I'm my mother's daughter, and Jennifer Late was a _menace_ to the police force before she got sick – she would taunt them with pig calls while driving by, going beyond the speed limit, and doing hot checks. Of course, by the end, she had this amusing Love-Hate thing with the police going on there, and I think they were _actually_ rather fond of her (things were never boring), but it didn't change the fact that she was a menace to the poor bastards.

I think I hear Ashley's muffled laughter – _nearby_.

Oh, thanks, Ash. Just stand there and _laugh_ at me; don't worry, I won't get offended at _all_.

Yeah, right.

You guys know me better than that, yeah?

Of _course_ you do. You're smart!

"Are you going to behave now?" Garrus asked, sounding _bored_, and that pissed me off even more.

I growled, but then I went quiet, silently fuming.

_Shepard_ might be as stubborn as I am, but everyone _else_ is easy pickings! I was quiet for so long out of sheer stubbornness that I freaked Garrus out when I finally lost it (I think I was quiet for about twenty minutes, maybe more), because I _guess_ he thought he won, and he forgot about me for a while there – ha!

He should know that I _always_ win.

...when I'm lucky, and I'm a _helluva_ _lot_ luckier than most people.

Want proof?

I downed a fucking _krogan_ without dying! Of course, I used his 'Rawr! Charge!' thing against him and dodged at the last minute, and he ran into the wall, and while he was getting his bearings together, I used those precious, _precious_ seconds to pelt him with grenades and then I ducked – and hit the bar stand, because the gods _love_ messing with me (this is where I got my concussion from). Once the grenades went off, I then promptly fired off my pistol until I was certain that he was _dead_.

And, hehe, yeah, most of the damage that Udina is probably _still_ spazzing about was caused by that.

But, _ha!_ I'm fucking lucky _and_ smart!

And, yes, I told you about my fight because I realize that the scene changed before you would witness my awesomeness back at Chora's Den.

I got impatient, kay?

But my point is, I _will_ outlast Garrus Vakarian, mark my words!

* * *

I was _still_ stubbornly not saying a damn thing, my determination fueled by my self-righteous anger this time, when Shepard, Tali, Wrex and Liara ran into the Storage Bay, panting and sounding a bit frazzled – well, Wrex just seemed pumped, but that's Wrexy-Baby for you.

Oh, and how did I know that they were back, aside from the hanger door opening and everything? It's because, a while ago, I felt a twinge in the Force, like it just went 'oh shit!' on me (I think it was Joker, actually), and the _Normandy_ sort of swerved a bit, and then it picked up on speed. Then there was the rumbling, and then the landing, and _then_ they rushed in.

Garrus and Ashley were wondering what was going on. (Hey! Where's Seth? Damn it! That man is never around when I could use his help! First, it was my box, and now it's Garrus being an ass to me. What's next? Wrex deciding that he's had enough of me, and tries to off me? Then again, I doubt Seth would be much help there)

Anyway, I just wanted Garrus to _get off –_ he didn't even bother with getting off of me in all of the commotion.

I think he enjoys my suffering.

Asshole.

Tali was the first to notice me and Garrus. "What are you _doing?"_ she sounded incredulous.

I don't blame her, do you?

At this point, Garrus was still sitting on me ( – _actual_ sitting this time – ), while he was tending to his _rifle_, to add insult to my injured pride. I doubt that I looked too impressed, either, since I was laying on my stomach with one hand propping up my face, and the other one was slowly drumming it's fingers against the floor.

I certainly didn't _feel_ impressed, that's for sure.

"Eh, they're just playing around," Ashley informed them, acting like it's no big deal.

"He's _sitting_ on me!" I stated the obvious, sounding annoyed.

"_She's_ being a child and _I'm_ disciplining her," He sounded so damn _smug_.

I squawked, indignant.

"Bullshit! You're just mad that I kicked you – for being an arrogant _ass_, I might add! I'm just a defenseless, blind human here!"

"You aren't defenseless. You're _dangerous_," Garrus retorted.

Is it such a bad thing that I actually feel _proud_ about that?

Naw.

"Oh, shut _up_ and get off me! I heard another set of footsteps, so I _know_ that there's a new person here and I need to introduce myself – I have manners!"

And then _Joker_ butted in with this lame-ass joke;

"_Was that before or after you ran into that wall?"_ He piped in, and I heard a grin. Damn eavesdropper!

"ALMOST! I _almost_ ran into a wall!" I corrected, snarling. However, with a snicker, Garrus finally got off me, so I got up too. I heard Wrex lumbering over to his spot, probably to drop off some of his new toys over there. Tali was smothering snickers at my situation, but she had a cute giggle, so I wasn't too annoyed at her.

"You both suck," I muttered, popping my back. Since I couldn't see, I didn't see the looks of disgust people shot at me for that. I paused, "So, who is the new person? I assume that they're female."

Liara sounded startled. "Why yes, I am. How did you know?"

"Skills," I shrugged. Plus, I cheated, what with ME and everything. "I'm pretty good at recognizing and sorting footsteps. Who're you?"

"She's Liara T'Soni," Shepard answered, who had been quiet until now. Hm. She sounded tried and hurt. I think I heard a bit of a limp, too, as she began walking further in the Storage Bay. "She's – "

"Sorry, commander," I apologized, looking towards her voice sharply. "But you're hurt. Medi-gel?"

"It can wait," Shepard said, dismissively. _Gah! _

"Bullshit," I tapped my foot, frowning.

"_Serviceman_," She warned, and I huffed.

Well, _excuse_ me for being concerned here.

"Fine. I'll ease off. I'll ambush you later." I paused, and then mumbled, "Crap. Giving away plans of ambushing is _not_ a smart move..." I spoke up. "Nice to meet you Liara T'Soni, I'm Serviceman Tiana Late. You sound fatigued; you might want to go sit down somewhere, drink some water," I airily commented, and then said, "The turian that's hovering somewhere near me is Garrus Vakarian, and I've decided to adopt him as my brother. He's annoying enough."

"Hey!"

"Don't deny it."

Before we could _really_ get going into a verbal bashing, Shepard stopped us. "Knock it off you two! We're going to the comm room for a meeting, and to properly introduce Dr. T'Soni to everyone," She paused, and then said, in a knowing tone, "Did you get that Joker?"

A pause. Then grudgingly, _"Yes, commander. I'll tell Alenko. I take it you want me to send out a retrieval team to get the Mako?"_

"Yes, please," She said pleasantly, like she _didn't_ have creepy powers of observation (and maybe good hearing, too?).

Damn, Shepard is _good_. Even when she's injured (granted, I don't know how _badly_), she never misses a beat.

I've picked the _perfect_ role model.

And to think, for a while there, I used to idolize Jack. Of course, I still think that she's freaking _rockin'_, but I need an awesome _and_ an emotionally stable adult as a role model.

Note; _"Emotionally Stable"_.

* * *

You know, it is damn eerie to walk around blindfolded. It's dark, since I can't see any light because of the bandages covering my eyes (which is the point), and I have to depend on the others around me to keep me from running into anything.

It's unnerving for someone with trust issues. In the back of my mind, even when I'm bantering with others, I'm preparing myself to run into something, because if you can run into a wall or a door in a certain way, it won't hurt as much – I know this, because I used to _purposely_ run into walls and shit for my _friends_ when I was younger, so that they could be happy and entertained.

A bit messed up, I admit, but I never had any real friends until high school, when my _friends_ broke apart and drifted to other circles, leaving me to my own devices. And I had _fun_ tormenting and scaring the shit out of people, since I was no longer bound by their ties of loyalty.

But it's really, _really_ unnerving, forcing myself out of my comfort zone to trust people like this. And so far...my trust hasn't been taken for granted, and I haven't ran into anything, aside from Garrus (but that's just Garrus) – hell, even _Wrex_ hasn't done that to me (_yet_, anyway), and I would've thought he would. He seems like the type, you know? But, Wrex _does_ have some kind of honor code, doesn't? I _think_ so, anyway, so maybe taking advantage of a 'weak, blind human pipsqueak of a girl' for kicks doesn't appeal to him?

Then again, he could just be lulling me into a false sense of security, because honor or no honor, this is _Wrex_ we're talking about here.

Meh.

* * *

As we filed into the comm room, sitting down (_okay_ – Kaiden guided me to a chair) and getting comfy, Joker's voice came on over the intercom.

He sounded as cocky as ever, but I think the adrenaline ran out of his system, because he sounded a bit weary.

"_That really was too close commander; ten more seconds, and we would have been molten sulfur, " _He said, seriously, before adding in, _"The _Normandy_ isn't designed to land in__** exploding volcanoes**__. They tend to fry our senors, and melt our hull – just, you know, for future reference."_

I giggled, but coughed. I smirked, "And I thought I told you guys not to blow anything up!" I teased.

"We almost _died_ out there, and your pilot and crew member are making _jokes?"_ Liara marveled, sounding bewildered.

_Oh, poor 'Ara. Don't worry, sweetie, I'll teach you all you need to know about sarcasm later. _I thought at her.

And then a thought occurred to me; _Hey, wait. Is Miss Sheppy going to hook up with Liara or Kaiden? I picked Liara during my play through, but Shepard is her own person – she can do whatever she wants. _

It's true. This Shepard (who looks like my Shepard, but isn't my Shepard), is her own person. I still don't know what background story she has, or if she has her own unique story line, and she's not even a biotic – she's a soldier, and, apparently, she's good at tech stuff, too, while mine couldn't hack her way out of a paper bag. She has her own thoughts, her own ideas, her own personality, her own personal quirks...

It's cool. It's like, my _idea_ of what my Shepard was like came to life, but only with more depth and layers. _Lots_ of hidden layers are behind those purple eyes of hers, like she's seen a lot of things that no one should see – _old_. But they were also sharp and intelligent.

_Well, at least there's that – she has my Shepard's Sherlock Holmes thing, right? I wonder if she was a fan of the 'ancient' book series as a child, too..._

The other characters have more depth to them, too. More life like. I haven't really interacted with them much, preferring to mostly _cling_ to Shepard (which I need to change, if I'm going to grow any as a person), but, hey I have _months_ to get to know these guys – it's only been, what? Two, three(ish) days?

Yeah. I have time.

And _whoa! _All of those thoughts that I just had only lasted but a few _seconds_, because I _caught_ Shepard's reply to Liara.

I. Caught. It!

"It's a coping mechanism," I heard Shepard say, in a calm, scholarly way. I heard a smile, "You'll get used to it," she assured, gently.

"I...see," Liara said, shy as ever. "It must be a human thing. I don't have a lot of experience dealing with your species, commander," she told Shepard in a respectful and polite tone.

W-what the –! When I zone out, I _zone out!_ I don't just, just, snap back in a few _seconds!_

_Is this because of the medication? _I wondered, bewildered._ I fucking __**love**__ it now!_

I _hate_ missing things because I'm thinking about something! Do you have any idea how _annoying_ that can get?

_Really_ annoying.

"I am grateful to you – _all_ of you. You saved my life back there, and not just from the volcano. Those geth would've killed me or dragged me off to Saren."

_No! Not my Little Wing!_ I mock-cried in my head, but wisely kept silent. No need to make 'Ara flip out...no matter how funny it could've been.

"What would Saren want with you? Do you know something about this Conduit?" Kaiden questioned, and, once again, I am thrown off by the fact that he sounds like Carth Onasi from Knights of the Old Republic.

_It was why I avoided him like the plague in ME. It was just too weird, _I recalled. _I've already romanced __**one**__ Carth – I didn't need to go through that emotional hell again, even if it __**had**__ paid off for my character in the end._

Seriously. _Once_ was enough.

"Only that it is somehow connected to the Prothean Extinction; that is my real area of expertise," Liara replied. I heard some fabric move, so I assume that she squirmed a little in her seat. Hm. Maybe everyone is staring at her, and she's uncomfortable with it? Understandable, since she hasn't had much interaction with others. "I have spent the past fifty years trying to find out what happened to them."

...gah. She said that so causal like.

"Wow," I breathed. "Fifty years. How old are you, Miss T'Soni?"

_Sorry, Shepard. I stole your question. My bad_, I thought sheepishly.

Liara hesitated, "I hate to say it, but, I am...only a hundred-and-six," She admitted softly, sounding embarrassed.

I whistled, leaning into my seat. That _is_ a lot. And yet, not, if you think about it – it's just fifty plus fifty and a six. Small numbers. I think by asari standards, Liara is probably around Tali's age, give or take a couple of years...sounds about right.

"Damn!" Ashley cursed, sounding shocked. "I hope I look that good at your age!"

"What? Early to mid twenties?" I asked in a mild tone, yawning. Damn, fighting with Garrus took a lot of me...bastard.

Pause. "What?" Ashley asked, confused.

"What?" I said back, just as confused. Then it dawned on me. I said that _aloud! _"Oh! Um...well, like she said, she's only a hundred-and-six. By human standards, I'd say she's about Tali's age, in her twenties. Miss T'Soni _is_ really young, Ash. Asari just age much more slowly than we do; that's all." I shrugged, and, feeling some stares on my person, I sunk into my chair, sheepish. "Um...hi?" I squeaked.

"You seem very familiar with asari matters, serviceman." Liara stated, sounding interested.

"Uh...yeah. It's one of my more interesting quirks; I know a lot about Asari, Krogans, Turians, Salarians, Batarians, Rachni, and, well. I just know my foreign races. I know some stuff about Protheans, too, but not all that much, just the stuff everyone else knows. Hence why I haven't said anything. What's the point in pointing out what everyone else already knows, right?" I explained, looking mildly miffed. "So, whoever it is that's glaring at me, all offended like, _stop_ it."

And that was all basically true – even the last part, because I can _feel_ the glare.

Garrus chuckled. "You're a bit off," He informed me, oh so kindly. "No one's glaring. But we _are_ staring."

Oh – "we". That's why it feels like a glare.

"Then stop it!" I whined, trying to curl up in my seat to hide, looking irritated.

Why are we even _discussing_ this? So I'm a geek that knows her aliens – shove off!

I heard Shepard chuckle, "Alright, we're getting side tracked now. Let's get back to business," she said seriously, and then the conversation went on smoothly from there, and I didn't say a word, perfectly content with everyone ignoring my 'strange hobby', or whatever it was they thought my knowledge was.

Thank you _God!_

Most would assume that these guys would be mighty suspicious if some eighteen year old high school drop out (or impending one – there is a reason why most of my school books were freshmen or sophomore level) knew about alien races, however, I have one word for you;

Extranet.

* * *

Shepard shooed us out so that she could talk to the Council, and, on a whim, I decided to stick with Liara.

Why not? She's a new person! Plus, she sort of reminds me of how Addy was when we first met – she was so shy back then...

"Is it okay if I stay with Miss T'Soni?" I asked my teammates, for once sounding _genuinely_ innocent. I don't know _how_ I managed that. "I want to get to know the new person!"

"Sorry, Tia," Ashley said, grabbing my arm. "But you need to go to the gym." She pulled me.

What?

"Say what?" I asked, sounding oddly worried. "I thought Kaiden said that I wasn't training until my eyes healed!"

"No, you aren't you. You can't do any training courses blindfolded – no newbie is that good. But you still need to loose weight!" She lectured.

Oh shit, I'm _blushing_.

"You don't need to _see_ to run on a treadmill, tubby!" Ashley continued, and I gaped.

S-she called me _tubby!_

Bitch!

"Bu-I..._fine_," I sulked, pouting. "Just yell at me at lot. That tends to encourage me. Or kill my ego, depending."

Hey, at least I'm honest, right?

* * *

I.

Fucking.

_**HATE**_.

Running.

I was currently gasping for breath on the ground next to the treadmill, and my legs burned and ached.

Ashley made me run for FORTY MINUTES _**STRAIGHT!**_

I think I'm dying.

Oh cruel world – I always hated your guts! I hope you die with me!

I grunted when I felt a boot prod my side, and I automatically curled up around it.

"Tia! Let go!"

I didn't let go.

"You. Poked. My. _Side_." I growled, weakly. The Tia is all out of Energizer Max. "I _hate_ that," I whined.

And yes, I was sulking.

I tend to do that. I'm childish.

Ashley sighed. She sounded _so_ put upon.

"Come on, tubby. Get up. You need some water." She reminded me, and she appealed to my knowledge of Health and Safety, my favorite class outside of English.

I weakly yowled, like a pained cat, but I let her foot go, and I sat up.

"Seriously, I still don't know how you're at the weight you are at – you're constantly bouncing off the walls!"

"Slow metabolism and nowhere to exercise before this," I replied, tiredly. For once, I actually let someone pull me up without a fight. I was too damn tried to bitch or hesitate.

I don't think I can even kick Garrus's ass in this condition; that's how _tried_ I am!

"Hm; did you _want_ to exercise?" She asked, and gently tugged me over to a bench.

"Yeah, but Dad wouldn't let me leave the house. I'm the baby of the family, and he was overprotective of me," I said quietly, still sulking. "I had days were I had wander-lust, and I really, really, _really_ wanted to go walk or something, but Dad didn't want to risk it. I'm a _girl_," I pointed out, sensing that she'd understand my meaning.

She did. It's a woman thing.

"And there are a lot of freaks out there. I understand his reasoning, even if I don't really agree with it," She helped me sit down. "He sounds like he was a good dad, though. He wanted you to be safe."

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "Yeah, but he was still thick headed."

And a jerk.

"Most men are," I heard a smile. "Wait here. I'll grab us some water."

"Mmkay," I mumbled, straightening out my clothes.

I winced as my legs tightened, but I bent over to gently rub my ankles instead, because they hurt the most. I have weak ankles, something I inherited from my Dad, I think; it's why I always wear boots, because they support my ankles better. Sprained ankles are the _worst_ for someone like me, because I'm practically disabled afterwords. I have to stay off that foot and not do anything until I heal, or risk _breaking_ my ankle.

Seriously, when Ashley had me take my boots off, I was really hesitant. When I told her about my problem, she sounded troubled, but was down right determined anyway; she just told me that, if it felt like they were about to sprain themselves, then I should stop, and then we'd do something else.

But they didn't sprain, thank goodness.

Despite all of my bitching and moaning about running, I actually had some fun. Having Ashley yell at me to keep me on my toes was really great, because it was entertaining and she had all sorts of creative insults. Plus, it was so good to just _run_. I can't really describe how...freeing, it felt to run for the first time in _years –_ to simply run for exercise and fun, and not because someone's life was on the line. I haven't done that since I was real little, back when I'd play in my backyard with my Mom, who had this loud, cackling laugh that always made me giggle in response...

It's...almost magical, actually. It's like something I've lost just popped by to say hi, and then hugged me.

I moved my hands up to my legs, wincing at the stabs of pain that just bitch slapped me.

Ow.

_I think it's hugging me too tightly, _I thought, sourly.

I sighed, then smiled brightly.

At least I don't have a gay ass run anymore! Ashley helped me correct my running stance, and taught me breathing exercises along with the stretches.

Now I have an _awesome_ run –

…okay, okay, Ashley said it was 'acceptable', but whatever.

Don't be such a kill joy, sheesh...

* * *

Ashley came back with the water, and handed me a bottle.

"Here," I heard a smile as she pressed the bottle into my hand.

"Thanks," I smiled back. I uncapped it and downed half of the bottle in one go.

"No problem, kiddo," She said, sitting down next to me. She uncapped her own, but then laughed at me, "Slow _down_, or you're going to choke!"

"Sorry," I smiled sheepishly.

I paused, and turned to Ashley. I could feel her body heat next to mine, so it was easy.

"Hey, Ashley?" I looked down, shyly playing with the bottle.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you," I said sincerely, because she gave me back the joy of running, something that I used to _love_ as a kid, but that happiness was resented after everything that happened, because I forgot about it under all of the pain. I think, once I get used to it again...I think I could really _like_ running.

Mind boggling, really. It's almost similar to the Meatloaf Incident; I used to _hate_ meatloaf, but I never tried it because it looked, quite frankly, gross as hell. Didn't eat it for _years_, until, finally, I decided to humor my long suffering sister-in-law, and I nibbled on some – and I loved it!

Still doesn't change the fact that I'm a picky eater, but now I can acknowledge that, yeah, trying new things _can_ be good, but just I'm too stubborn to eat something unfamiliar.

It's as simple as that.

So, yeah, it's similar.

I felt Ashley ruffle my slightly damp hair, and I heard another smile, but this one was somehow..._warmer_, "You're welcome."

I smiled.

_I think I just grew up a little bit_, I noted brightly.

* * *

"Okay, now. Are you _sure_ that you can keep your eyes closed?" Ashley asked me, for the umpteenth _time_. "Do you want me to help you?"

_NO!_ That would be mortifying!

"No!" I vehemently denied, flushing. "Just...just, show me where everything is, and I'll take care of it. So, can I go take that shower now?"

_Please?_

"Alright," She reluctantly said. I know she means well, but...gah! No one has witnessed me being naked since I was five years old!

_And no one is going to __**see**__ me naked until I'm dead and in a morgue! _I thought viciously, peeved. I paused. _Yeah, all future boyfriends and girlfriends – no peeking, or I'll maim you! _

So I'm a prude. Fuck you, too. I'm a very private person – as Ashley just found out when I all but freaked out on her a few minutes ago.

Argh. Screw military protocol about shared showers! They can _take_ those shared showers, and shove them up their –

"Now, are you _sure_..."

– _asses_. Hello there, Ashley dear, I forgot about you for a second there...

"Yes, I'm sure. I know where everything is. Now go guard the door. I'll be out in five minutes," I paused, and frowned, "Stop giving me that doubtful look!"

"How do you _do_ that, anyway?" She sounded amused.

"Skills," I grinned playfully. "Now shoo. _Please_, Ashley?"

She sighed, but left. "I'll be timing you!"

"Good! Then I can rub it in your face later!" I retorted, not missing a beat.

There is a _reason_ why my friends don't usually get into verbal spars with me – aside from the Teddy Bear. He's kinda like the Wrex of my circle of friends back home, but quieter and more annoying, and just as intimidating. Somehow, he always gets the last word in our little verbal games, and pisses me off every time.

But I get the _Last_-last word, because I get to mock him, mister tall scary guy, with a sweet and fluffy sounding nickname.

I _don't_ play fair.

* * *

"I'm done!" I shouted, and I felt smug.

I was done in _two_ minutes.

New record for me, since I'm usually the type that stays in the shower or bath for _hours_ – but I always rise to a challenge, no matter _what_ it is!

I kept my eyes firmly shut while I heard the door open again.

"Wow, you actually managed to do it in _less_ than five minutes," I felt her look me over, probably making sure I didn't put my clean clothes on backwards or something.

Okay; _seriously_. I may be a bit slow in the head, but I'm not stupid – I can feel for the tags, you know.

Geez...

I'm currently wearing my old clothes; a red turtle neck shirt, a black cotton vest, a pair of black jeans, and my brightly rainbow colored toe-socks, which clashed terribly with the more serious colors of my outfit.

Hence why I love wearing them.

"You actually look good in retro clothing. Most people look really stupid, but you pull it off well. It's like you just stepped out of some historical vid," Ashley complimented me, and I heard another smile.

_Oh, Ashley. Ashley, Ashley, Ashley. You're so __**close**__, but not quite,_ I thought, amused, _No cigar for you, hon._

If I could see, I'd probably be tempted to pinch her cheeks.

"Thanks, Ash. My favorite are the socks!" I beamed, wiggling my toes.

She laughed. "They are pretty dorky looking," Ashley mused, and I gaped.

B-but...they're rainbow colored!

_You know? Walk with the rainbow?_

...they aren't dorky, right?

Right?

"Stop gaping like a fish put your boots on," Ashley ordered me, pressing my boots into my hands.

"Yes, ma'am," I pouted.

* * *

"Hi, Dr. Chakwas!" I greeted as Ashley steered me into the med center.

"Hello, dear. I see that you took a shower," She noted, probably seeing my wet hair and the fact that I didn't have my bandages on.

"Yep! And in two minutes flat!" I added, and smirked. "Right, Pink Phoenix?"

What? I think it's fitting!

"Still don't know how she did it, since she can't see – " My nickname suddenly seemed to register in her brain, because she _smacked_ me! Ow! "What?" She demanded, and I whined, holding my head.

"Ow!" I whimpered, just to be over dramatic. It didn't hurt, so much as sting. "It's your favorite amour!" I protested.

"Then just call me _Phoenix_, tubby! Pink Phoenix, my _ass_..." She grumbled. "Sounds like something from some kiddy vid..."

Chakwas laughed at us. "I'm beginning to think that you live to annoy others, Miss Late." She mused – she must have heard some stories. Yay! I have a reputation! "Now, sit down over here,"

The lady moved me over to a bed, and I obediently sat down. She began to reapply some fresh bandages when Ashley spoke up.

"Hey, doc, do you think that you can watch her? I told the guys that I'd go help out with the repairs on the Mako in an hour. That's ten minutes from now," She said, and Chakwas shrugged, because I heard the movement of fabric.

And I take offense at the 'can you watch her?' thing! I'm _not_ a three year old child, thank you very much!

"I don't see why not. She may be a hellion to everyone else, but she's a nice girl around me. Aren't you, sweetheart?" Chakwas teased, petting me on the head.

I scowled, grumpily crossing my arms, but I didn't say anything. Compared to my interactions with everyone else, aside from Shepard, I'm an _angel_ when I'm visiting Chakwas.

She sort of reminds me of my mother-in-law, but with more steel and attitude. She has that 'aging' gracefully thing going on for her, and it gives her this type of elegance that most women younger than can _never_ imitate, and it made her look classy and beautiful; I'm sure there's a few young men on broad that have the classic 'I have a crush on my teacher!' thing going on for them, even though they'll never do anything about it.

It's kinda cute to think about.

Ashley made a disbelieving snort. "_Her?_ Nice? Haha, _right_. She can be an okay kid, sure, but _nice? _She's a brat!"

"Love you, too..._Pink_ Phoenix," I shot back, feeling strangely offended.

"See!"

"Oh, shut up and go fix the Mako's boo-boos!" I finally snapped, annoyed. "Stop picking on me!"

I twitched when Joker's voice floated in, feeling the over whelming urge to _kill_ something.

"_But it's so fun!" _He said, with a grin in his voice. _"Nothing is more entertaining than to watch you fume and throw a fit!"_

"Joker! Stop stalking me, you, you _pedo!"_

Yes, I'm aware that was lame.

"_You're of legal age," _He pointed out, also knowing that the comeback was lame and had a serious hole in it.

"So what? Just...shoo!"

* * *

"Hi, Miss T'Soni!" I cheered, entering the room.

After Chakwas re-bandaged my eyes, and after Joker and Ashley stopped irritating me, I asked if she knew where the new girl was, as if I didn't know, and she guided me to Liara's nest.

What? I think that's a fitting codename, since her childhood nickname was 'Little Wing'. You know, birds?

Yeah.

But before I had requested to see Liara, I asked if Shepard stopped by for medical attention (no), and then I told Chakwas about the limp.

Right now, I'm sure that Chakwas was scolding Shepard like a disobedient child, just like I planned.

I _told_ Shepard that I was going to ambush her – I just sent the doctor in to do my dirty work.

The commander isn't the _only_ one that's clever, you know.

"Oh, hello!" Liara sounded surprised as I entered the room. I heard her put something down (datapad?) and then I heard her hesitant, soft footfalls. "Would you like to sit down?"

"Sure!" I smiled and I let her gently tug at my arm, as if she was afraid she'd hurt me. Normally, something like that would piss me off, but this is _Liara_ – it's impossible to get mad at her, you know? It'd be like stepping on a _kitten_.

A sweet, _innocent_ kitten, at that.

She sat me down, and I heard another smile, "There you go. Are you, uh, comfortable?"

You can almost see her fidgeting, don't you? Same here.

"Uh huh," I nodded, and then I noticed that the seat was warm. "Hey, this is _your_ chair!" I protested, "I didn't want to steal your chair away from you!"

I almost stood up, but she quickly interrupted me.

"Oh, no! Please don't be mad," She pleaded, and she made me feel like an ass for being _nice_. "I needed to stand up, anyway," she laughed nervously. "I was sitting down for too long..."

I frowned. "Yeah, but you still sound fatigued. You should sit down," I told her gently, standing up this time. I carefully shuffled away from the chair, and then crossed my arms, frowning sternly. "Now, sit down and relax. You shouldn't sacrifice your own comfort for others like that!"

_It never does you any good, in the end, _I thought darkly, having some flashbacks.

"But..."

I wouldn't hear of it. I _knew_ that she was stuck inside that glowing force field-thing for a long time, and she needed to take care of herself before she freaking _collapsed_.

"Na uh! _Sit_." Anyone could tell that, if I could see, I'd be pointing at the chair in question. "If anything, you should go to sleep, but I'm not your mother – or anyone's mother, at that, thank goodness. I'd be a horrible parent. I feel sorry for any future spawn of mine. Now sit _down_."

Yes, I purposely rambled on after the mother comment, because I had belatedly realized that it might have struck a cord in her.

Liara was quiet for a few seconds, before I heard her hesitantly walk over to the chair, and she sat down.

I smiled, "Thank you, Miss T'Soni."

And I promptly sat down on the floor. "Am I facing you?"

"Um...yes?"

"I'll take that as a no," I said dryly, but shrugged. "Ah, well. If it doesn't bother _you_ that I'm not facing you, then I won't let it bother me, either. Now! What's your favorite color?"

Yes, I'm starting slow.

Shut up. I gotta ease her into this socializing with people thing.

I was serious about teaching her sarcasm, you know.

"Ah, favorite color?" She asked, bemused.

"Yeah, what color do you favor the most? If you absolutely _had_ to wear the same color, for the rest of your life, what color would it be?"

Liara thought about that for a while, and I could hear her fidgeting a little.

"Yellow," She finally decided, and that took me by surprise.

I'd figure blue, purple, or green – but, yellow? Really? That's Shepard's color. Strange. I never thought that Liara would like that color; it's a very loud color.

Then again, my favorite color is a calm one, so it'd be hypocritical of me to criticize her for liking a loud color – not that I was anyway.

Remember; _kitten_.

"Yellow?" I repeated, lightly. "Why?"

"Because it's...a happy color," I heard her smile quietly. "What color do _you_ favor?"

"I like blue," I said promptly. "But it's a certain _shade_ of blue. It's the color of the Earth's sky. A nice, pretty, light blue. I like it because...well, it's calming. Yeah, that's it. I like it because it's a nice, calm color that doesn't inspire feelings of intense energy in me," I smiled.

_I have enough of that on my own, _I thought, amused.

"That's beautiful," I heard Liara smile, sounding awed. "That put a very picturesque image in my mind's eye."

I mentally blinked. Picturesque?

_Oh God, _I thought, faintly horrified._ I don't know the vocabulary of that word!_

That's never happened before.

_The sad thing is, I can't look it up because I'm **blindfolded **now._

Damn.

* * *

I was taking a Tia Nap on one of the hospital beds (I suggested the same to Liara, but she didn't want to just yet. She's oddly stubborn, you know that?), when Chakwas and Shepard came back – the later _without_ a limp in her walk, I was pleased to note.

"You're sneaky," I heard Shepard accuse me, causing me to snicker.

"Uh huh," I said smugly, rolling over on my back. I was about to get up. "Whacha gonna do about it?"

"Oh, I don't know," Shepard said in a causal tone. "What about..._this?"_

And then she _tickled_ me! What the fuck? Since when do badass commanders _tickle_ people?

How the _hell_ did she know that I was ticklish, anyway?

"Stop it!" I protested while giggling like a little girl, wounding my pride. Damn her!

* * *

It's time for dinner now, and I was moodily waiting for Kaiden to get my food for me, because I was still annoyed about the tickle attack, and, you know, I can't _fucking see._

Which pissed me off.

Normally, I'd be _delighted_ that others are doing my bidding, like the minions I've always wanted for Christmas, but now I _know_; I am a very independent person, and having everyone take care of me annoys living daylights of me.

And do you have any idea how hard it is to eat blindfolded? _Really_ hard, and you have to be real careful, otherwise, you'll get your food, _sure_ – but it'll be all over your face, and not in your mouth.

I'm just glad that no one has offered to feed me. I'd be forced to choke them to death, blindfolded or not, and then I'd be sad.

For like five minutes, and then I'd dance on their grave – with The Backstreet Boys as my music choice.

...and shut up, I like those guys.

It just further proves my case of being a demented and evil person.

Which reminds me, I need to download their music.

Oh, wait.

I can't because –

I CAN'T FUCKING_** SEE!**_

_Grr..._

_

* * *

_

Muffins. I want muffins. But there aren't any muffins here.

It's tragic. I don't think they even have _bagels_.

I can't wait for ME2, so that we can have _real_ food – food I like!

Not this...bland military food.

I'm beginning to doubt that these guys have ever even heard of those cute donations from the school kids. You know, the donations where kids write letters and collect food to send out to the troops? Those absolutely _darling_ children that send out pop tarts and chicken noodle soup, with cute little drawings and sloppy letters?

Yeah, those guys.

I don't think they exist here.

That's kinda sad, actually. I know that the people with kids get stuff, but what about the others? What about those guys that _don't_ have any family or friends to communicate with back home? What about them? Do they even _have_ anything to look forward to when vacation comes around? A girlfriend? Boyfriend? Pets? Neighbors?_ Anything?_

It's...sad, to think about. Because you _know_ that there are soldiers out there like that, because some people have the worst luck – I, of all people, should know that.

I frowned thoughtfully, carefully, and politely, eating the bland soup that was given to me.

I thought for a moment, and then I smiled.

I have an idea.

In two weeks time, things are going to change around here.

It will be a small change, for sure, and I doubt that anyone would even care too much, but despite that, it'll still be a _pleasant_ change, small or not.

Because you know, I may be a bitch sometimes, but I'm not _heartless_.

* * *

Alright, I'm impatient, so I'm going to fast forward a bit.

I'm only going to include events that are either my favorite, or had an impact on me. Things I'd write in my diary –

If I could, you know, _see_.

Gah. This is every writer's worst nightmare, wannabe or otherwise.

**Recovery Day 3:**

"Wrex! Put me down, you overgrown _lobster!"_ I yelled, kicking and squirming.

"Not a chance," He rumbled. "You need to learn not to steal from those bigger than you are."

"It was just _one_ blanket!"

And I'm awfully proud of myself for getting that blanket, too, since I couldn't see.

You'd be proud, too.

But Wrexy-Baby is a bitch, and wouldn't put me down.

So, for about an hour, I was forced to hang on his shoulder like a sack of potatoes (it was humiliating, and Wrex knew it, the bastard), until Seth took pity on me and called in Shepard to save me.

What do you know – he _was_ here when I needed him!

It only took him two tries.

**Recovery Day 4:**

"So, wait," I mentally blinked. "You almost robbed a _store?"_

Chakwas laughed. "Yes, I was young – and drunk. Very drunk. Good times, good times...fortunately, I didn't rob anything."

"What happened?" I asked, feeling like this was akin to watching a train wreck, just without seeing. I couldn't stop listening, and I wanted to know more.

"I couldn't figure out how to leave my vehicle," She said, very matter of fact. How...anti-climatic.

I mentally blinked again, and then I shook my head in disbelief, hugging a hospital pillow to myself.

Just when you thought you knew a person...

**Recovery Day 5:**

"Ow...ow...ow..."

I stirred from my Tia Nap, and, for a moment, I wondered where the _hell_ I was, before remembering that I was talking to Kaiden in his little area, and eventually fell asleep. It _was_ late after all. I smiled a little as I realized that I had a blanket covering me.

Kaiden can be a sweetheart sometimes, can't he? I've never noticed, since I've never romanced him in ME (you know why), and most of the things I know about him is from other people in forums and stuff – I mostly ignored him, and he was the one that I picked to die on Virmire, since I wasn't emotionally attached to him. Cold of me, isn't it? That I'd condemn a man (even a pixelated one) to death because he reminded me of someone else.

I'm actually disgusted with myself.

It's the reason why I've decided to spend my day with him today, so that I could get to know him.

To fix my mistake.

"What?" I murmured, yawning a little.

"Migraine," Kaiden mumbled, sounding pained. He let out a shaky breath. "Sorry. Didn't mean to wake you..."

Oh, yeah. He went out with Shepard and Garrus yesterday, didn't he? They had gone off to find Garoth's brother, Willem (who turned out to be dead), and they had to take out the privateers as well as _two_ _krogan_ _**battlemasters**_ (eek, right?); Kaiden had used a lot of his biotics then, pushing himself to his limits. I had _thought_ that his migraine had gone by now, since he had seemed fine a while ago when we were talking, but I guess not.

I frowned. "Don't worry about it," On an impulse, I gestured for him to lay his head down on my blanket covered lap. I was on the floor. "Come here, I'll massage your temples; sure fire way to reduce the pain and make it go away."

I don't need to _see_ to do that.

Kaiden made a startled noise, quickly followed by a pained one – smooth, Alenko, _smooth_. "No, no. Thank you, but I'll just go to Chakwas – "

"Kaiden," I said, unknowingly using Shepard's Commander Mode voice, looking stern. "Do as I say, or I will scream – in a loud, high pitched way, just to spite you."

He laid his head down.

Good puppy!

**Recovery Day 6:**

The treadmill tried to kill me today. I slipped, and flew off of it, tumbling to the ground with a shriek.

Ashley is _still_ snickering about it.

Bitch.

"Oh, har de _fucking_ ha!" I mumbled, scowling. "It wasn't _that_ funny!"

"_You're right! I'm sure that your intimate encounter with a wall was much more hilarious!" _Joker said over the intercom, like a ninja in the night.

I _swear_ that he's stalking me with the intercom now, just _waiting_ for the right moment to strike! I wasn't kidding before!

I think he's still pissed off about the whole 'dickless' thing.

"GRAH!" I yelled, tugging at my hair in frustration. These wall jokes are getting old!

Damn Shepard to _HELL_ for letting Joker in on my slip up!

"_Score!" _Joker cheered, laughing his ass off, Ashley quickly following him.

I hate them both _so hard _right now, that not even molten lava could compare.

**Recovery Day 7:**

"Why are you red?" I asked Wrex, and yes, I'm still hanging out with him – minus the hanging part.

_God_, I hated that...

"That's an odd question to ask," Wrex noted, cleaning his gun, the one that I liked to call "Boom-Boom", just to irritate him.

I didn't even know _what_ the fuck it looked like.

"I'm an odd person," I said, dismissively. Seriously, I thought everyone knew this by now. "But really, why are you red? Not many krogans are red. Is it a rare gene, like the albino gene, or whatever, in humans?"

"How should I know?" Wrex questioned, sounding almost exasperated, but still spoke in that calm, steady tone of his. It had an almost soothing rumble to it. I really liked to listen to his voice – it's just as good as Tali's Storyteller Voice. "Krogans aren't known for having scientists."

I whined, "But I wanna_ know!_ It's driving me up the _wall!_ It's such a pretty red color, too..."

I couldn't see, and I knew that it would've been _way_ out of character for him, but I _knew_ that he was rolling his eyes at me just then, or something similar to it.

Yay! Point to me!

**Recovery Day 8:**

"Hey, Miss Sheppy?" I was sitting on her bed, swinging my feet above the ground.

"Yes?" She was at her desk, writing a mission report. Ick. I hate paper work.

"You said that the beacon on Eden Prime gave you a vivid, if confusing, vision, right?" I asked, as if to clarify.

There was a pause.

"Yes?" She asked warily, and I heard her turning around in her chair to look at me. "What about it?"

I hesitated, because I knew that this was a somewhat personal question to ask, and we haven't known each other for long.

Oh, fuck it – I'll deal with it when it slaps me in the face.

"Does it still bother you?" I finally blurted out. "Like, I dunno...vivid nightmares or something? From your description, it sounds intense, and horrifying, and like...like it burned itself into your mind. Are you okay?" I asked, genuinely and honestly concerned.

I wish I could see, more than ever now, because there was a very lengthy pause this time. I wondered what her expression was, if it was pained, bemused, angry, upset, or even just flat out blank. I wondered what she was thinking in this pause, and if I just should've kept my big mouth shut. No, I _knew_ I should've kept quiet – that was a _very_ insensitive question to ask her, despite my concern.

"Jane?" I called softly, and I hated how my voice cracked. I bit my lip. "I'm sorry, I won't ask again..."

She sighed, and it was a tried sigh. I heard her get up from her chair and walk over to me. She sat down next to me, and slowly, so as not to startle me, moved my head towards her direction, despite the fact that I couldn't see anyway, a considerate move that I always appreciated.

"Don't be sorry," She told me, in an almost regretful tone. "I was just taken aback. You're the first person to ask me that, aside from Chakwas. It's very kind of you,"

K-kind? I'm not _kind! _I'm a rabid, maniacal bitch!

Really, I am!

"Oh," I mumbled, and, strangely, I felt flustered, contradicting my mental protests.

"And to answer your question...yes," Shepard said quietly. "Yes, it does still bother me."

I fumbled for her hand, wanting to comfort her her, because, okay, you _got_ me, I'm actually a very empathic and...sweet ( – _gah!_ – ) person, and I hate it when other people suffer in my presence. I always try so _damn hard _to stamp that out, though, because it has no place in the real world, but I don't think that part of me is ever going to disappear, no matter how much I dearly wish it would – it only ends up biting me in the ass later on.

But, regardless, I held Shepard's hand in a supportive grip, because I _care_ – because I have a heart, and I'm not always a bitch or a brainless spazz.

Not always, anyway.

I asked, in a gentle tone, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really," She said in an oddly (or not so oddly?) anxious tone, and I nodded, letting go of her hand.

Instead, I hugged her, and I didn't say anything else, because nothing really needed to be said.

Sometimes, you don't want words to soothe your pains and fears. Sometimes, you just want to be held, and not feel like your dealing with your problems alone.

_Sometimes, you just have to reach out and touch the untouchable,_ I added in my head, faintly amused. Because yeah, Shepard _is _untouchable – no one can ever reach her level of strength and courage, and I think only Mordin can surpass her in intellect, and that's only because his a salarian. Shepard is so impressive, so awe-inspiring with her ability to do the impossible, that people actually _bring her back to __**life**_ when she dies, because we _need_ her if we're going to even have a fighting chance with the Reapers.

However, I have no qualms about reaching out to something that's 'untouchable', because nothing is out of _my _reach, even if I _am _short.

_And since when have I roped myself in with these guys? "We", indeed..._

I am starting to get attached to this place? To these people?

Oh, boy...

**Recovery Day 9:**

While I was talking to Tali, I somehow fell over. I don't know _how_ I did it, because I was just innocently standing there and doing absolutely nothing, for once, and then I fell over.

I _hate_ it when I do that.

"Keelah!" I exclaimed, pissed off. "Fucking gravity...air is conspiring against me again...fuckers," I mumbled, getting up.

"You speak Quarian?" Tali questioned, sounding surprised.

"Nooo..." Argh. This is why I never cursed in Quarian around her. "I only know 'Keelah' and 'bosh'tet'."

"Oh," She sounded oddly disappointed. _Damn_.

I'm going to regret this, but...

"Uh, can you teach me?" I asked, sheepishly tugging at my uniform sleeve.

I didn't even need to hear her voice this time to know that she smiled; I could feel the glow of it through her helmet _and_ my blindfold.

It made me feel...pretty awesome.

**Recovery Day 10:**

"Hey, Kaiden?" I called, sitting in my usual spot on the floor.

"Hm?"

"Can you do me a favor?" I asked, fidgeting.

"What is it?"

"Could you look up an old Earth song for me? It's really old, and I'm not even sure if you'll be able to find it, but could you try anyway? It's an old favorite..."

I heard a smile, "Sure. What's it called?"

"You're Gonna Go Far, Kid by the Offspring," I told him, smiling.

"Never heard of it," Kaiden admitted. "But you _did_ say that it was old..."

After a few moments of silence between us, with only the sound of Kaiden typing and pressing buttons, my song actually started to play. It wasn't the best quality in the world, but one could hear it just fine; the song was full of energy and noise, and it never failed to make me bob my head or tap my feet on the ground.

I've been thinking about this song a lot, since it reminds me a lot of my situation here.

"With a _thousand lies_,

And a good _disguise_;

Hit 'em right between the eyes,

Hit 'em right between the eyes.

When you walk away,

Nothing more to say,

See the _lightning in your eyes_,

See 'em _running – for their lives!_"

"Slowly out of line,

And drifting closer in your sights.

So _play it out _I'm wide awake;

It's a scene about _me_,

There's _something in your way_,

And now _someone is gonna__** pay!**_

And if you can't get what you want,

Well it's all because of_ me."  
_

"Now _dance_, fucker, _dance_,

Man, I never had a chance.

And _no one _even knew,

It was really _only you_..."

And no one even knew, that it's only _me_, not even the _real_ Tiana R. Late...

"Thanks, Kaiden," I smiled softly, sadly, as I lied once again to cover my ass. "It brought back some good memories..."

_With a thousand lies, and a good disguise..._ I softly sung in my head, like a lullaby, smiling slightly.

Yes, this is my song.

**Recovery Day 11:**

"Phoenix?"

"What?" Ashley asked absently, looking at some pictures that one of her sisters sent her. She told me that, when I get my eyesight back, she'll show me the photos.

I look forward to that.

"Why don't you like aliens?"

She paused, and then sighed. "It's not that I don't _like_ them, it's that I _trust_ them."

"You seem to be getting along with Garrus lately," I pointed out.

"Just because I get along with someone, doesn't necessarily mean I trust them, kiddo."

"Sadly, I know what you mean," I admitted, but continued before she could question me on the matter. "But it just seems weird to me."

"Weird?" She repeated, sounding bemused. She's probably never heard someone say that it was 'weird' to distrust aliens, at least, not in that context.

"Well, my family accepted aliens, and saw them as our equals," Which is the truth, but I'm twisting it a bit to fit in with the place. We're a very sci-fi centric family. "I was raised to see aliens as, well, human beings that look a little weird. They can feel, they can think, they can be heroes, they can be corrupt, they can have faith, they can lose hope, they can bleed and cry and laugh – they're mortal, just as we are. They have dreams, families, likes, dislikes, interests, personalities... To me, they aren't all that different from us, and we aren't all that different from them."

I shrugged. "It's just...weird to meet someone that doesn't think like I do. It's okay, I guess, because I can understand. Don't agree with it, but I can _certainly_ understand your wariness, and I can respect your views," I smiled brightly, laughing a little. "Doesn't change the fact that it's weird, though!" I teased.

"Ha_ha_. There's this old saying, 'the pot calling the kettle black', and it fits you perfectly," Ashley said sarcastically, but then she fell into a thoughtful silence, pleasing me to no end, because I wanted her to _think_, and to use some logic and common sense; to see things for how they _are_, not for what she _sees_ them to be.

Now, I just need to wait for Shepard to do a Paragon action, and totally convince Ashley to into being less wary of foreign races, and I'll be happy.

I really do like our little Pink Phoenix, really, I do, but her distrust of alien races never fails to irk me.

**Recovery Day 12:**

"Hey, Garrus?"

I was going to prank Garrus without my eyesight; watch and learn.

"Hm?"

"Have you checked on the Mako today, yet?"

Pause.

"Nooo...?" He drawled, sounding almost nervous. Aside from his rifle, the Mako was one of the things he loved the most – seriously; boys and their toys. "Why?"

"Oh, nothing," I said airily, taking a sip from my coffee. We were in the mess having breakfast – and we were both _very_ careful about what we were eating, not wanting to accidentally eat something that could burn a hole in our stomachs or something.

"Nothing?" He repeated, and scoffed. "Do you really think that I'll fall for _that_ again?"

I sighed. "It was worth a shot," I said mournfully.

I allowed him a full five minutes to bask in his victory, and then I attacked for real.

"Did you know that 'gullible' is written on the ceiling above you?" I asked, sounding bored. I even yawned sleepily, acting causal.

"Huh?" There was a pause, and I assumed that Garrus looked up. So I took a chance at looking stupid, and spoke up.

"Haha! Made you look!" I mocked him. "You really are _gullible_, aren't you? I can't even _see_, you idiot!"

"Damn it!"

I. Am. _Awesome!_

**Recovery Day 13:**

"Whoa – I lost almost twenty pounds?" I breathed, stunned.

Shit. I was sixty pounds over weight before this (that's overweight for my height - I checked!), so now I'm just forty?

Whoa, indeed.

"Yep! Keep this up and you'll be in shape in no time!" Ashley boasted, and ruffled my hair. "Proud of you, kid!"

I beamed.

_This means that I get to wear awesome Gothic Lolita clothes! Hell yeah!_

What? I'm_ girl! _Of course the first thing I'm going to think about is shopping!

I like shopping. It's like, like, the woman's version of hunting. We even have our own ceremonial war paint and everything – or, at least, that's how I think of it, anyway.

I feel more badass that way.

Blood red lipstick to represent the blood of my enemy, green eyeshadow for luck on my hunt, blue nail polish for the tears of my victims as they plead for mercy, a simple, but stylish and sophisticated looking black sundress, my mother's wooden beads ( – _the beads of my ancestors _– ) simple jeans, and my boots – an outfit to make me look deceitfully cute and innocent and perfectly harmless (my camouflage) – and two, messily made, Chinese styled buns as my hair style of choice; ready to go ninja on someone's ass.

So, if I'm ever wearing makeup or dressed in nice clothes, you _better_ watch out.

I'm hunting, and if some blonde bimbo is trying to take the last discounted coffee maker, blood is going to _fly_.

Especially over coffee.

You don't fuck with my coffee.

_Hey! I wonder if I have my beads in my bags somewhere? I remember wearing them the week before the Blink Incident, and then I stuffed them in...I think the top pocket of my red messenger bag? They could still be in there! Oh, I **hope** so...that's the only piece I have of Mom now, my last connection to her, since I don't have my long hair anymore._

That will be the first thing I check on when I can see again.

_One more day after this..._

**Recovery Day 14:**

"So, we're going to Noveria, tomorrow?" I questioned Joker, idly leaning against the back of his chair.

"Uh huh..." Joker said distractedly, no doubt reading something that was absolutely _fascinating_ on his screen.

Hm...

"That's the cold place right?"

"Uh huh..."

"With the snow?"

"Uh huh..."

"And the ice?"

"Uh huh..."

"And the naked women?"

"Where?" Joker suddenly sounded awake. He probably perked right up in his seat, too, all alert and everything.

I think I heard Kaiden snort from his seat. It was kind of muffled.

I myself just laughed, helplessly holding onto his chair so that I wouldn't fall over. "Joker! That's_ bad!"_

Oh God...that's...that's so hysterical! He's as bad as my uncles!

Then again, I don't think those guys have 'tapped' anything in, what? Twenty years? Maybe more?

So _they_ have an excuse, I guess. They're lonely.

Joker, on the other hand, while being handy capped, was a perfectly handsome man with a good sense of humor, and I'm sure that women everywhere all but _throw_ themselves to his delicate feet – so what's _his_ excuse, hm? There _are_ ways around his condition in order to have sex, you know.

...and am I _seriously_ thinking about Jeff Moreau's sex life?

I _am_ messed up.

* * *

"Stop squirming!" Chakwas scolded me, and I stilled, making impatient, whining noises.

"Hurry!" I whined. She was taking off the bandages that covered my eyes. Today is the day that I can finally see, even if I do have to wear sunglasses, or shaded goggles, for a few days.

Seeing in shadows was better than total darkness, after all.

"Alright, alright..." The last bandage was removed, but I kept my eyes shut.

A small pause, and then Chakwas gently slipped on a pair of sunglasses onto my face. "Here you go. You can open your eyes now,"

With a shaky breath, I slowly opened my eyes for the first time in two weeks, and saw the smiling faces (or grumpy, in Wrex's case, and blank for Tali's – I can't see her face because of the mask covering it) of my friends, the very first things I saw with my new sight – even _Joker_ was there (shocking, isn't it?). And yeah, I totally saw these guys as my friends now, and I even trust them a bit – and that's a _lot_ more trust than most people get from me.

Shepard smiled, looking bright and warm even with my new shades.

"Congratulations, serviceman." She said to me, and I beamed back at her.

I can_ SEE! _Hell yeah!

Universe at large! You better prepare yourself! The Tia Monster can see now!

_Muhahaha!_


End file.
